On the Subject of PTS NC MAXes

Besides that the rest of your post is completely crap, this just disqualifies you from being taken seriously.

"Slowly trying to float off it while taking hits from below/backside"? It takes 2 second to reload for the fastest vehicular weapons, and if it takes you two whole seconds to get off when all you have to do is quite literally press any direction on your vehicle then you do not deserve to win anyway. The only scenario where this fails is if you deliberately move in the same direction as your opponent, and even then you have to deliberately try to keep your speed similar to your opponent.

Again: You fail to press any directional button to get off.

What's more is that your enemy didn't teleport there. Unless you deliberately drove on top of them, which would mean you should check in the nearest hospital and get a thourough checkup, your enemy drove underneath you. This means that your enemy had his front facing you, and you let him drive there. Magriders are the most maneuverable ground vehicles in the game, if an enemy approaches you with the intent to drive underneath you all you have to do is strafe to avoid it. If you strafed (and changed direction sometimes so your enemy doesn't have an easy time just steering into your new direction) the worst that could happen is that you'll only be half on top of them and even if you just kept the same strafe button pressed for several seconds and allowed your enemy to get directly beneath you, just holding that same button would get you off within a second as well.

Then there's the velocity of your enemy. He got underneath you, he can't decelerate as fast as you can. Anticipating an enemy getting underneath you isn't hard (hint, they need to break cover hard, make a beeline for you and steam as fast as possible straight for you). So once they get underneath you, you can just turn, back up and hit them in the rear before they can turn. Eye for an eye at worst, they steam passed you and you get a free hit at best turning the entire "problem" right around.

Then there's what the opponent needs to do. If he intents to hit you in the underbelly he needs to save his shot, that Magrider is off of you with any buttonpress so you can't be reloading when you almost get to them. When on top of the enemy, vision is hard and if the Magrider does things like turn it's easy for the opponent to see just the underbelly of the Magrider but his barrel is already poking out the other side, IE he'll miss despite seeing nothing but Magrider. This coupled with how massively easy it is for the Magrider to turn and shoot you in the rear makes any such maneuver a suicide, only useful against dumdums who don't know how to use the buttons W, A, S and D to move.



Tl: DR:
Trying to pass off the "get underneath a Magrider" tactic as useful makes everything else you say even more unbelievable than it already is.