Everybody loves a good farm, me especially. There is nothing quite like harvesting the crops after a long day of real life. However, as we reap the killing fields, we must remember that to be a true farmer, you must also cultivate the crops. Everybody is frustrated with something about their faction on their server. Every single person I've spoken to. Well, it is time to pass on a time honored secret: talk to your crops. If you learn how to cultivate your colored crops as you harvest the other colored crops, you will soon find yourself a master gardener. This is a very complicated process. Let me explain: 1) When reaping your crops, taunt them: Did you just shoot some TR scum in the face? Yell at him in proxy chat. Tell him he died for freedom. Have you just recapped the point? /y FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Do you see a spot where a grenade would kill a bunch of people? Signal your fellow gardeners, and let them know. When 5 people throw a grenade into a crowded room, the room stops being crowded. Then make fun of the dead for getting blown up. By doing this, you will swiftly increase the yield of your farm. 2) Be nice to your team: Don't be an ******* in proxy chat. Don't be an ******* in region chat. ESPECIALLY don't be an ******* in command chat. Doing any of these things weakens your farm in the future. A healthy farm is a happy farm. 3) Talk to yourself: Is proxy chat quiet? Is something big happening on the map and just needs to be reported over command chat? Do you have an opportunity to do something, but need to signal the rest of your team in /re? Try it out. Sometimes it's as easy as just saying what you are doing. If, as a medic, you yell out that you are reviving everybody, not only do people stay to be revived, but other medics start reviving people. If you yell out that you are charging, other people will charge with you. If you're redeploying your squad/platoon to a base that's getting overrun, let command chat know. Make fewer requests, but tell more people about the good things you are doing for you r team. Plant psychology is very intense, but with a little practice, every farm can be a good farm. 4) Talk to other people: Is someone else doing good things? You're goddamn right someone else is doing good things! Tell them how good the things they are doing are. Did you just see a good idea in region chat? Tell everyone how good that idea is. Yell it out in proxy chat. Did your call for help get responded to over command? Thank them profusely. When your combined forces have secured the base, tell command that you and friend outfit just saved the base and that you're looking for a new target. By doing this, your farm will rise to be the greatest. Now, I realize that not everyone can, nor wants to be a farmer. That's fine, not everyone is cut out for it. If you are one of the intrepid few who, like Xzibit, can handle some farm in your farm, so you can farm while you farm, then you will drastically improve both your game experience and the game experience of others. It is easy. Try to prove me wrong.
Or you could just...play the game and not give a **** about points as farming is THE SINGLE BIGGEST REASON people stop playing the game? Just a suggestion.
The best fight is when you have 51% and are winning, the fight lasts a while and is good fun for both sides. Then the fight ends and both sides move on, hopefully to similar fights. Farming is the worst kind of "fight", its just a plague of K/D ****** and bad gameplay. I choose to look over the humor in your post to point this fact out.
How to farm certs: 1) be medic 2) be in 48+ biolab carnage 3) spam shield charge domes 4) spam revive nades 5) ? 6) profit!
This is a most brilliantly disguised guide on player ettiquette farming. And yes, CANNED FREEDOM FOR ALL, BECAUSE FREEDOM CAN
Though it shouldn't be mandatory reading, that way we'll have in place another test to further filter out the illiterate zerglings.
You forgot the most important step: bring massed columns of weedkillers, surround the infested field and purge it with concentrated chemical goodness, so that not a single blade of grass escapes to threaten your crops.
