Need help for storyline for story from school

Its due on Friday and I have to base my story off this pic.



What I have so far-

Note: the story takes place in one of the posts I posted before
http://forums.station.sony.com/dcuo/index.php?threads/time-to-post-it.8785/#post-111317

Skip page the first post of the post I posted a link to.

After you look at the link-
This story takes place during saga 1 recently after the Traveler's training with Goku.

Main Character- The Traveler
Side characters- Pikachu, the Little boy and his dog in the picture.
Main Villains in story- Mysterious Figure from Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep and Bane from TDKR
Conflict- the harp
Setting- Forest
Things to see- Kamehameha wave and flying Volt Tackle

Plot Sequence-
1.The Traveler is wandering through the forest looking for the harp as he had heard the legend of it
2.The Traveler meets a little boy with his dog and tells them to go home as it might be dangerous for them
3.The little boy secretly follows the Traveler to where the Harp is and then the Traveler ends up fighting the mysterious figure
4. The fight continues and the mysterious figure whispers to the Traveler that he is the one, the legend, and other mumbo jumbo like that throughout the fight.
5. Bane shows up and the Mysterious Figure flees
6. Bane threatens to snap the little boy's neck if the Traveler did not give Bane the Harp
7. Pikachu comes in and takes out Bane
8.The Traveler use the Kamehameha wave on..........................(not sure)
9.The harp just suddenly isn't where it was before and the Traveler says goodbye to the kid and his dog as well as saying for them to stay out of trouble.

Things I need help with-
1. What should make the Harp so special?
2. how does the Traveler find out about it?
3.Should Bane make an appearance at all?
4. What should the Traveler use the Kamehameha wave on exactly? Should Bane bring in back-up such as on of Vile's ships?
5. How should the mysterious figure appear? Should he just randomly teleport in and out?

Hmmm.......... nobody huh.

I think you should write a story with original characters, not with stuff that someone else came up with. The most important part of any story is NOT the plot, it's the characters.

Super rough draft because your supposed to do it not me but this is what I thought of. I don't like finishing someone else's story because well it's not my story to tell.

Young man was flying with his family when suddenly the engine failed (elaborate more on this) he blacked out from the panic and awoke on a strange island (elaborate on this what makes it strange, animals, sounds, etc). A dog came running up to him barking frantically as if he was beckoning for the boy to follow him. Deep into the jungle they went when the boy heard the most beautiful song he's ever heard. He crept toward the river where he saw an Angel playing the Harp (elaborate on her beauty and the song itself). The boy stuck in a trance crept slowly toward the Angel and ruffled some nearby leaves. The Angel suddenly disappeared leaving the harp behind. The boy feeling despair didn't know what else to do so he waited for the Angel. A dog came running up to him barking frantically as if he was beckoning for the boy to follow him. Deep into the jungle they went when the boy heard the most beautiful song he's ever heard. He crept toward the river where he saw an Angel playing the Harp (elaborate on her beauty and the song itself). The boy stuck in a trance crept slowly toward the Angel and ruffled some nearby leaves. The Angel suddenly disappeared leaving the harp behind. The boy feeling despair didn't know what else to do so he waited for the Angel.

This happens over and over question is ...Is the boy in heaven or hell?

Okay here's what I got...

So there's this river looking area...something something something....turns out Bruce Willis was really dead the whole time.

F I N

I would recomend you not only write your own story, but to also be more creative as well. This world is filled with people who steal other peoples ideas and intellectual property, common man, don't be one of those people.

Well it is a prequel to Kingdom Hearts Birth by sleep though which ultimately takes place before the keyblade war. The first saga of my prequel is mainly crossovers and stuff like that for the fans while the rest will focus on the characters I have originally included in my story.

And this story takes place during saga 1 where Vile (prequel version to Megaman X) has set up a league of iconic villains to to his work which testing which villains work well together for example Thanos and Darkseid.

If you want more info then look in the link I provided.

Like I said in my link (unless I forgot) this is a prequel to Kingdom Hearts BBS before the keyblade war. I intentionally came up with the idea to test how far can kingdom hearts go in terms of realities or worlds/dimensions, you know stuff like that. also, I wanted to predict what would happen if there was a crossover between this and this world or that and that world overall.

I also created this idea because I wanted to see which combinations of villains can do the most harm or can be most dangerous like the Boogeyman (from Rise of the Guardians) and Scarecrow since the Boogeyman's powers from that movie is based on fear and scarecrow's tech creates fear so if they teamed up they could cause more than just a mass panic, mass death.

Though most of this crossover stuff like I said in my post before this is going to be in Saga 1 while the rest focus's on the character's and the why's and how's.

The mysterious figure was mentioned to be young Xehanort in Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance and that he has time traveled to different periods of time so I thought of how I could include him as a cameo in the Saga 1 because of him being able to time travel according to KH DDD

I've been recently been thinking of changing a few things on the plot since the due date was changed to Monday.

1.The Traveler is wandering through the forest looking for the harp as he had heard the legend of it
2.The Traveler meets a little boy with his dog and tells them to go home as it might be dangerous for them
3.The Traveler meets the mysterious figure (AKA young Xehanort who is time traveling) and Xehanort hints at the Traveler's death that will take place in the last saga
4. (took it out)
5. Bane and ____(not sure) shows up and the Mysterious Figure flees
6. Bane and ______(still not sure) threatens to snap the little boy's neck if the Traveler did not give Bane the Harp
7. Pikachu comes in and takes out Bane
8.The Traveler use the Kamehameha wave on..........................(not sure)
9.The harp just suddenly isn't where it was before and the Traveler says goodbye to the kid and his dog as well as saying for them to stay out of trouble.

Should it just be Bane? Or should I have him be working for someone?

Again, I implore you to use your own characters and content instead of relying upon that which you did not create... You didnt come up with DC villians, nor did you develope Kingdom Hearts for example, yet you are taking those elements and using them. What I was suggesting was to develop your own story, your own characters, both of which are strickly your creations, not borrowed from other content without consent. Then you, and others will be more pleased with the outcome. Just my thoughts. Good luck.

I came up with my own character the Traveler for the story.I developed personalites for some of my other characters such as pikachu and Oshawott which were originally from looking at trolling pokemon pics I somehow found on the internet.

I'm like the person who can't create his own invention but can combine other inventions to make an even better one.

I was able to come up with the world of which the Traveler was originally from but the world's story seemed a bit too cheesy in my mind so i don't think that would work too well.

As a kid I came up with a story which was similar to DBZ in a way but used animals as the characters instead of people. Lol I was even able to come up with that story without even looking at DBZ though as I got older the idea seemed kind of childish to me in terms of what people my age would like.

I created this idea to explore the full potential of what Kingdom Hearts could be one day hopefully.

I hope this all works out for you.
I really do.
How old are you, by the way?

Almost a freshman

heres the deal. if you are just doing this for a grade, you're over thinking it. keep it simple. keep characters to a minimum. get the grade and move on.
if writing is something you have a passion for, with all due respect, you are on the wrong track. characters first everytime.

I've been working on my idea with the help of a friend on mine who is also a video game developer on the forums for quite some time now really.

I'm not really gonna say his name since he's not much of an attention seeker. Though he is on one of his breaks from the forums right now which I find sad since I don't have many to talk to about my idea since most of my friends haven't even heard of Kingdom hearts at all.

Anyway back on topic, I'm really doing this not just for a grade no, no I'm doing it to let my ideas fly out so my brain doesn't get all too cluttered with ideas since I don't really like to write unless I have too overall. Sometimes things are better in my head than on paper.

Did you read the link though? I provided lots of info on the character's there.

This idea originally started when I started thinking "What if Sonic and Shadow were actually sent to other worlds instead right after the chaos control blast in Sonic X (End of Shadow saga)?" I started thinking ideas for that and when I found out about Kingdom Hearts I originally thought of it to be one of the worlds Sonic and Shadow visit but the idea then evolved in my head throughout the years into this.

Other reasons why I thought of the idea-
I wanted to find out what would happen if humans and pokemon in the tv show pokemon could fuse together in an armor like fashion. (the pokemon turns into armor and attaches on and the human and pokemon's minds are fused or something like that in a way similar to how digimon did it in digimon tamers)

I also thought of that armor idea for some of my childhood tv shows such as Yu-gi-oh and others as well.

This will be my last comment. If you want to send me a message to my inbox we can talk further. Probably not tonight though. Heading to bed. I will leave you with this. You have a lot of ideas. this is good, but good story telling is usually about a FEW good ideas. Not a lot. Simple is better. the reason it's better in your head is cuz you can see the whole picture.

Someone that isn't in your head...or doesn't know these characters (like your teacher possibly) is going to be lost. Take one idea out of the many you have. One. Take your time developing that one idea. Don't forget to include that picture. That was the assignment after all. Maybe you write the first chapter of your epic story...

A first chapter introduces the reader to the character. It gets the ball rolling.

Why does Kingdom Hearts work the first time? It's just this kid and his friends going about their business. You didn't know Sora until the game began to reveal who he was to you. The story didn't start about keyblades or anything like that. Just a kid and his friends.
That's good storytelling.

Start slow. Start small.
And keep on keepin on.

God bless.

Good thing is I already did a story which introduced the characters for my ideas paper a while ago. So my teacher will probably be able to understand it. Though, too bad I don't know how to add you in the conversation between me and the person I was talking to about my idea on the forums unless you know how to join it. Wait, can there be more than one person in a conversation in the inbox?

So...how did it work out?

I'm doing the final draft now because the rough draft was due on Monday and I got a pretty clear idea how the story will go, though it still retains most of what I had before because if I'm never good with using kids as the main character for some reason and if I had to think everything over it may take more time than trying to improve what I had originally thought like probably around more than a week or so, and I only had a few days to finish my rough draft.

Here's the basic summary. I've kind of got most of the kinks figured out.

The Traveler is looking for the harp because he had managed to steal some data about it during one of his previous fights with another one of Vile's iconic villains from his league. The Traveler heads to the place described in the data, and looks for the harp and discovers a boy and his dog are following him. The Traveler pretends not to notice it as he then finds the place where the harp is. a water-like figure shaped like a old-man appears before him out of the ripple in the water and asks before giving him the harp "What is your purpose here?". The Traveler deeply thinks about the question and replies "To protect those I know and don't.". (This conversation is what's given me the hardest time thinking what they should say and I'm still not exactly sure if they should say that or not)

The water figure then gives the Traveler the harp, but when the Traveler is about to leave he hears someone call his name. The Traveler then turns around only to see TDKR Bane and Psycho Blue in the distance and Bane is holding a boy and dog who were frozen by Psycho Blue. They threaten the Traveler to hand over the harp to them or else the boy and dog are going to be broken in pieces. Pikachu then shocks Bane from behind which causes him to drop the ice sculptures but Pikachu is able to catch and take them away in a blink of an eye using agility. Pikachu then returns back to where he was originally dressed up in a Batman costume (he's just like that sometimes) and calls out Bane's name so everyone turns and looks at Pikachu then this happens.

*Bane is confused*
Bane: Isn't Batman supposed to come out at.....

*Bane is then interrupted by Pikachu who is using the DKT voice*
Pikachu: Aren't you supposed to stop wearing women's make-up?

*Bane is even more confused*
Bane: What?

*Everyone stares at Pikachu awkwardly while the Traveler facepalms"

*Pikachu is then embarrassed*
Pikachu: Oh wait, wrong joke.

*Pikachu then opens up his book of trollling made by himself of course*
*Pikachu then looks up and puts away book in mini utility belt*
Pikachu: I mean, aren't you supposed to stop wearing a mic over your face.

*Pikachu then makes a troll face*

*Bane gets mad and charges at Pikachu while psycho Blue charges at the Traveler for the harp*

The Traveler throws the harp somewhere deep in the forest and Psycho Blue tries to go after it but the Traveler stops and then fights him. Since this improved version of Psycho Blue can make ice at will he quickly makes objects and stuff using the river water. The Traveler then manages to slice up all the objects created with oathkeeper and oblivion and charges at psycho Blue when their at an edge of a waterfall causing both of them to fall into a lake on the bottom.

Psycho Blue then creates two giant blocks of ice and smashes the Traveler with both from each side and the Traveler takes it and manages to break out but is weakened. Psycho Blue then manages to get out of the lake first and commences to freeze it along with the Traveler inside.

The Traveler then blacks out as the water freezes but while he is blacked out he hears voices he recognizes from his past but doesn't know who each is from. The voices cheer him on and the Traveler manages to gain the strength to break out of the ice, and when the Traveler rises from the ice he beats down Psycho Blue and knocks him into the air. Psycho Blue then starts charing his Kamehameha wave (the Psycho rangers learned that technique from studying in Vile's archives room which hold info on heroes and their pwers and stuff like that)

The Traveler then charges his Kamehameha wave he learned from Goku himself. They both fire their kamehameha's and with the Traveler's morality boost from the voices he is able to puch psycho Blue's Kamehameha wave back and defeat him. After the battle right before the Traveler finishes off Psycho Blue, a hologram of Vile then appears before the Traveler and warns him "This is not the end yet, you know" and teleports Psycho Blue out of there.

The Traveler then heads back up the falls and sees Pikachu, the little boy, and the dog together. Pikachu explains to the Traveler that he sent Bane flying somewhere deep in the forest with flying volt tackle and that he broke the boy and dog free from their encasements by heating the ice up with thundershock. The Traveler then looks for the harp but he couldn't find it so they all say their goodbyes and the Traveler and Pikachu leave on a ship Orvus sent them since in Saga #1 the Traveler used to use ships to travel between worlds but somehow always ended up crashing them.

Note: Bane and Psycho Blue waited for the Traveler to find the harp since there was a barrier surrounding the harp preventing those full with negative energy from taking the harp. Also, the voices the Traveler heard were from the people in the world he was from before it was enveloped in darkness which led to him becoming he Traveler.

Man, that was long.

Yes. It was.
I really hope this works out well for you.
Sorry that it's so difficult for you.
Again, simpler is always better.
And reading the part in the green lettering was very confusing for me. Is this really part of the story or just an outline? If these are direct quotes from the story you should work on the dialogue a bit more. I just can't picture Bane saying these things or acting this way. He's more of a "Where is he?" guy than a "Isn't batman supposed to..." guy. And I didn't realize Pikachu talked as much as this.