"Z" this is the book of Zudre"I hope to place to paper my continued adventuers" a diary

Z

Now that I have learned to some extent the art of writing I will try to put into this book my story.
The begining
As a teen I awoke upon a ship. The first mate was surprised I awoke at all so deep was my sleep of death this time. My memories before that day are like disconnected dreams...not real and horrible nightmares that seem all to real. I did not know my name...nothing of who I was or from where. On my person were 2 books. One a history of my race/ogre's another, this one, a blank book with nothing but a Z on the cover. The second day the sailors were practicing with a bow and the arrows made an odd sound that I put with the Z of this book to give my self a name
ZUDRE
So began my life. On the 4^th day we had arrived at the out post of the over lord. I was glad that I had had the few days of rest. I was set upon almost as my feet hit land. Six large guards. I went down quickly at first not knowing what was happening or what to expect. They could not hold me down. My blood boiled quickly and then they spilled some of their own. As quickly as they set upon me it was over and they backed off applauding. Running up through the crowed of them came a female warrior and mage. The warrior was out raged at the way I was set upon the mage tended my wounds. The 2 of them took me under there wing and we trained together on the island of the over lord. I do not see much of the mage these days but the warrior I now call MOM. So wise and kind was her tutelage. Her affection has chased the pain of not knowing my past away. I was still rather young when I reached my home city of Big Bend and had to share a room with a Troll by the name of Cejooga...CJ was a mage of some renown. A fearless warrior. All though he was caster he still ventured on his own. Many a time I watched over him as he recovered from battles that would of put to sleep for all time the most harden fighter. We had gone our own ways for some time and I had acquired my own place to live when he came to me about his plans to start a clan, a "family". I thanked him but fortune had already provided me with Beatriz, mom, "Bee" to me. Had bee not introduced us to the Quild? ...was that not our family? Then I thought of how I felt about Bee verse Cj or the mage from the island and I understood the deeper commitment that Cj was looking for in his "clan" Me I wonted to remain separate from him I was a costume to the distance that are age and paths had created. We have respect and the commitment of that respect and it is enough.
I remember the day that Cj sent word that I needed to meet him in Big Bend. He had started his "clan" and he wanted me to train the members not to fear death. Such an odd request to me, death is but a deep sleep. We never know if we will wake or not till we do. That is just the way of things what is that to fear. I was in for a big change in my life that day. Cj had brought along another ogre. I had so little contact with others of my kind. Ogres are not overly social by nature, and the world is not overly warm towards us. We are very use to being on the "outside". Especially me. My speech is broken and my thoughts are simple even compared to others of my kind. Meeting Cepa was bitter sweet. We melded like forged steel bonding together like brothers. I was the agate that was hard, rough and strong. Cepa was polished and shined brightly. I believe that which took all that I had know from me has also left me a stumbling fool, lacking, speech and flowing thought. It has taken much council from Bee to set pen to paper. Ah Cepa many where are battles in the Common Lands. Great has been my joy to travel with him and Bee. I remember how things changed when instead of Cepa, Cida and Shep met with me. I was to instruct them but it was me who learned. I could command others, Cj knew that I could teach. With Cepa it was knowing and helping each other as brothers. Now it had become a duty. I am still surprised at how natural it felt to impart what I know. Shepa learned most quickly and has become a good teacher in her own right. Cida is most deeply committed to Cj and very accomplished in his trade I would not want to cross him or the clan. Thinking of accomplishments reminds me of meeting master crufe. Do I dare say that he may be more intelligent than Cj or wily. Cj has only sent him to see me 2 x and both times we never got out of the bar to kill anything but a few kegs of beer. Must say that I do enjoy not only those times a but a few others. He has quite the sense of laugh and has no intention of going anywhere but to the craft center and pub. It was he who got me to thinking about starting my own kind of "clan" "thinking" I awoke from a keg one day with 2 students staring down at me in the mud . RazamataZ and Loona so started the troop, must say it has been rewarding. Life was going well working with Cj the clan and my own little troop. Was working with Cj's clans men Citheec, when life took a real sharp turn , a knife in the hart it was.
I was crossing the Common Lands when I was hailed rather fanatically by a lone warrior. As it approached I saw that it was a women, she was asking about the guild. Mosshga had pointed her in my direction. Her name is Yvet, she asked about guild members that I do not know personally but who's names I had heard from Bee. Her voice is pleasant on the ear and she had such energy. She readily excepted an invitation to the guild. We continued to travel together and talked, I was suspect of her claims of being a bruiser by trade. Then we came upon some orcs and she more than proved her claim.
The battle was quick, furious, I was breathing hard and feeling the lust of spilling blood. I looked at Yvet and l forgot to breath for a moment. The hair framing around her face was damp from the exertion of battle... her eyes were on fire....the corners of her mouth turned up in a slight smile. She also knew the joy of spilling an enemy's blood. She was amazing ; yes that had been her that was fighting at my side...going toe to toe with our foe. I have not met any other bruiser till now and a female to boot. She was very gifted, fearless a real treasure. She conversed freely with me , was at ease and natural. Bee was the only female that had behaved so in my present. Most were always distant, put off, I am an Ogre. Even the professional females at the pubs. We met a few more times and her friendship flowed freely with out an hesitation. I offered her some ban gels of gold and she excepted them with such grace. Dare I hope. I asked her to go to dinner with me to meet mom and she was not put off . Ah hope, hope I did, even when we crossed paths with Curah. We had traveled together several times by then and I was gaining some confidents in the friendship becoming something special. Curah is a wise sage and was imparting her knowledge of barbarians to Yvet. How foolish was I!!!!. I saw how involved Yvet was in the conversation , I had seen how she would avoid Citheec's gaze when we traveled and battled together. Citheec is a barbarian, they were talking about barbarians. My hart skipped a beat, several beats.....Ah but I asked her..." do you like Citheec" no answer so involved was she with what Curah had to say. I had hope and took the lack of answer to quite my fear.


We had received a commission from the Freeport militia to limit the number of Dervish in the common lands that day of days. Citheec and Yvet came hand in hand to tell me of there feelings for each other. I was not prepared for the rage that welled up with in me. They spoke the words that were in my hart...how could that be...how could I not have seen...how could I of hoped...such a fool was I. The pain of this was new to me and the anger...had to turn from them. It was not right that they should see me like this. I ran off and let lose my rage on any Dervish that I saw. There concern for me drove them to fallow me. The sight of them made me feel all the more foolish, further I ran , more Dervish I killed. Finally Citheec flew into a party of Dervish and lay down his weapons. I knew Citheec and would not allow him to give up his life for having caused me pain. We are sword brothers and I would not let him sacrifice him self....I did let him take a good beating first. My hart will heal and they do seem happy together. I sought the council of Bee an as usual she helped me to see what could be rather than what I felt that I was missing. Over the next few days many complications came between the threesome of Z, Citheec and Yvet.
Citheec cast of his armor and weapons for reasons of honor, Yvet disappeared in the Thundering Steps. Me and Cepa had gone looking for her when we were set upon by a large number of the Centaur heard. When I a woke Cepa was not to be found. I sent word to the Clan and set out to find Citheec. Bee joined us and we were able to recover both Yvet and Cepa. Citheec and Yvet straighten out things between them and they are now to be wed. There is still a pain when I look upon the 2 of them but it is more of a longing , an emptiness with in me. The friendship is very strong between us and I see no end for it but a permeate sleep, the final death. This brings me to the current day, I hope to place to paper my continued adventuers.

Entery 1
Today I had the joy of joining an old friend, the mage from the island of the overlord, Darkrosex. It was my turn to mentor to her, her studies have consumed a lot of her time. She has gained much skill. It made my hart liter to travel with her again. We had not traveled long before Yvet joined us and we made short work of the girinnis that we had been commissioned to dispatch. Citheec soon fell in with us and we were a force to be reckoned with. Rose was called away and again it was the threesome....the awesome threesome...the AT. It took some time but with there help we completed the commission. It was time to let them be alone so I headed to the favorite pub of the guild. There I met Wellyn, the grandson of some one famous in the guilds past. Yvet new of the people he spoke and he told a story from his grandfathers book. This writing of things in ones book is as important as Bee had said it was. I am glad she has instructed me to do the same. Wellyn seems to be a nice enough fellow even if he is a qyenosing. I think the gods are wiser than us when they gave us the brotherhood of the guilds. It is through the guilds that we are able to come together in spite of political ideals. I f you belong to a guild it is a kind of lose family where everyone must put aside there views to get along for the good of the whole. Perhaps this is how the gods intend to mend the world that their petty difference destroyed in the rendering. So I ended another day in the loneliness' of a keg.

Entery 2th
Today I had the joy of working on a city writ with Cith. Been awhile since the 2 of us been out together was like times past with Cith having things attached to his rear. There just something about him...he always draws the agg. I enjoy the contest of who will get the agro even if he is always the lucky winner.
Entery 3
Today brought many things... the most painful was to hold Yvet in my arms as she cried.....cried for Citheec. Why can I not stop longing for her, I thought that it was loneliness, regret that I had no one in my life. Is it more than that. It can't be...she is devoted to Citheec and he to her but ..........I must find a way to drive these feelings away. She was so soft and warm in my arms , I felt so alive, so complete.....ah...ah. Enough ....today had brought Citheec to ask if I would challenge the sword for her and I said no..... Much happened today.
The man, Neptunn, that Yvet had been promised to by her father arrived in Freeport. He was presenting his letter of contract to everyone and anyone. He was seeking out Yvet and me . It seems that I have let it be know in some of the pubs that I would have Yvet as my own. The drink helps me to over look that she is in love with my friend Citheec. The Clan gathered and some allies from the guild and we were able to find this rogue in Beggars Court. I challenged him when we met in the town square, Cida reminded me that it was not my place but that of Citheec. Yvet and Citheec had proclaimed love for one another and were preparing to be wed. Citheec arrived and they did battle, the god of steel decided the claim for Yvet. The claim went to Citheec. After the event I sough out the comfort of a keg at the inn. It was there that I met Yvet as she awaited Citheec. I made a large mistake. Me and Yvet down several ales. She lost control of her self and was dancing as well as any of the professional bar maids. Had I had a few more in me and I would not of been able to remember my friend Citheec. When he did arrive he was not understanding of Yvet. H e actually spanked her as one would a child. It was when I protested that he asked if I challenge the sword with him for her. I said no and left their presents. He came to me and asked me to watch over her.....he could not put up with her behavior.
It is not my place but yours I said as he ran on out of view. I went back up the stair to find her passed out on the floor . It was then that I picked her up in my arms......she cried, hard she cried...for Citheec. Sick she got...I must never offer her drink again. Shortly Citheec came back...good thing I do not think I could holdback my feelings much longer. I left them and went to the fire pit below....staring in to its flames and thinking of my own fire with in. Soon they came down and we said our good nights.

Entery 4
So disturbing was the events of the other night , that I did not leave the inn at all yesterday. Today I meet up with Broudy. He is a new member to the guild, a young barbarian bruiser. It was a great day in the common lands the brooding of yesterday left me rested and ready for a fight. Broudy had a commission for blood skull orcs. We wreck havoc on them. Broudy is becoming an accomplished fighter. I think that I should take him into confidents. He is a barbarian, they have a reputation with females. He has met Ctiheec and Yvet but he is not that close to them. Yes I shall talk with him.


Entery 5
Broudy met me at the pub and we had down several mugs before I felt that I could bring up the subject. So awkward and lost did I feel. Broudy's grin was wide and his eyes sparkled when I finally got to the subject of my dilemma. He asked me about the traditions of my people. I had to admit I was unsure. I had only begun to learn to read and not spent much time with the history of my people that I had found on my person during the journey to the island of refuge. Bee had always taught me to be respectful and protective of women. Strange and personal where some of his questions, difficult were the answers. After many more mugs Broudy had a word with the bar keep and we moved to a smaller room in the back. He talked to me about coming of age and needing to understand what it was to be a male. 2 women came to our room bring strong drink with them. These were the bar maids that Bee had always been suspect of.....She had always tried to steer me from them on the few occasions that we had gone to the pub.
We drank, the girls danced and Broudy question me on my feelings for Yvet compared to how the barmaid Ella made me feel.
Straight and honest was Broudys conversation, patient was Ella.
By the time the sun came up I understood why being around Yvet had caused me such rage and pain.

Entery 6
The past week has been the most important in my life next to my time on the island of refuge. I have become quite comfortable at the Blood Haze Inn at West Freeport. I have study some in the book of my people and am seeking out others to learn even more. Ella has done much to quite the raging fire storm of need that this time of my life has brought. One night Ella had other duties and Coral was just as accommodating. This week I have sorted out the feelings of need, lust, Broudy called it.
Friendship, as with Citheec and Broudy. My brotherhood with Cepa. My love of Bee, the affection towards Darkrosex. The respect to CJ. I feel more as a whole person, not so lost and a lone. I am glade that Bee has taught me to read, the book of my people is helping me to understand the why of what I feel and do. With further study perhaps I can make sense of some of the dreams that are all I have of my past.

Entery 7 .
Today ...Today you could say was the first true day of the AT. Awesome Threesome. Don't really remember what work of the over lord we were about this day. I remember when I first I saw Yvet the rage and pain was not there. I was happy to be in her company just as I was Citheec. The bitterness I had felt in the past was gone. The conflict was over. There was only friendship. I sang and laugh as I had not done in a long time. I confided in Citheec the events of the past week. I asked for his forgiveness in my behavior towards Yvet. He was most understanding and encouraged me to continue in my "studies".
Later that night at the Blood Haze, it has become the inn of choice among the clan and some of the guild. Citheec and Yvet were talking. I paid them no mind and set about to further my "studies" as Cith had put it when Yvet left in quite a huff. I asked him what had happened, for this was not the first time she had run off with her nose out of join as they say. Cith told me that she did not understand the change in me and expected to be told what it was about. She had thought that I had found some one and had some girly ideas about a romance. She was mad that her "friends" would not share with her. Cith told her it had to do with coming of age and was not to be discussed. That was not good enough for her. She does not care for the boundaries between friends that are females and friends that are male. Fine she thinks she is not but a warrior...so be it. She insulated a warrior let her settle it like a warrior with battle. I found her looking upon the statue of the overlord. I asked her several time to talk to me, she would not so I presented myself as a warriors and challenged her. The action got the attention of a city guard, she claimed that she thought he was going to attack me, so she attacked him . Foolish female....down she went. What else could me and Cith do but attack him.
We were all bloodied and dazed. Me and Yvet awoke in the same part of town.
Ah ....the rage over her foolishness.. In spite of my respect for her, my awkward feelings and the teachings of Bee I finally opened up and told her of my coming of age, the lust that I had held for her. Then I realized that Cith had not joined us. We found him laying still at the foot of the overlord statue. I began to pray to the god Onn that was in the book of my people. Yvet petitioned to the statue of the over lord. After a spell of time Cith finally revived. Once again my friend Cith spoke the words that I thought were hiding in my hart. Like he had on the that day that he and Yvet spoke their love to each other. I looked towards the sky and wondered what had Onn in store for us. Surly something special for no 3 people had been so bonded together. The AT awesome threesome.

Entery 8
Today me, Citheec and Deathclaw answered a request from the guild to help one Keebasher. I was surprised to meet this "knee". It was a female...a female gnome. Dresssed in armor quite the fighter. Mistress Ponder is a gnome. They are both Qyenosings. Another surprise...3 of Freeport helping a Qyenosing. Knee was comfortable with it and was only interested in her writ. We talked some and she shared with me the story of the guild over some wine. The guild was started long before the shattering by brothers. They were the sons of Tao. They had begun the creed that guild is family and family is guild. After the shattering and as the descendents of the sons of Tao found each other , the guild was reborn. With the rebirth came the new name the Children of Tao. The creed of the son's remains and is even more powerful now. I enjoyed battling with knee our conversation about the guild made me wonder about my own past.
Entery 9
Today me, Cith and Yvet, (AT) meet Knee and Wellyn in the Thundering Steps. Why is it that Qyenosings are small. Wellyn is a half ling. Today we were working on a writ for Giants. They have been causing some grief to the Qyenosings. As guild mates we were happy to help. Chasing after the giants brought back memories. It was here in the steps under the shadow of the griffon tower that I had ask Yvet to go to dinner and meet mom. That is in the past and will stay there.
We were recovering from a battle when Yvet acted strange. She had forgot who we were...who she was. Knee tried her magic but it was no help. For some reason she trusted me the most so I had to see her home.
Citheec fallowed a distance behind but she did not know him. I will never forget the look on Citheec's face, the light faded from his eyes, his face void of all feelings. The trip back to Yvets place his shoulders were dropped, his sword hand was weak. The skeletons we had killed that night had more life in them than my friend. It was hoped that her home and belongings would jar her memory. Nothing , I prayed to Onn and Morda. Citheec began to tell her of our adventures as she sat upon her bed. I showed her the wedding dress...nothing. I looked at Citheec, he hung his head shaking it. She reached past the dress and pulled out a kerran doll....a gold ring fell to the bed. She lifted up the doll and ask Citheec if it was a gift from him. The blood faded from his face and he was unsteady on his feet. He sat on the bed next to her. No it is from Z. She held it close to her. It was more than I could stand...as Citheec tried to explain my affection for her. I excused myself. I ran out of the inn...there were no Dervish...no orcs ...no way to let out the pain of what was happening.
Grrr......Onn all I can see is the pain in Cihteec's face before me.....I struck out at the mail box again and again trying to drive the picture from my mind. The wind picked up and the heavy door of the inn blew open. Onn said to return to my friends. I went back.... Still Yvet did not know us or herself. She listen to Citheec's accounts of our travels. The flames of the lamps in her room caste shadows on the wall that looked like writing. Onn ....what would you ask of me. I can not... she would see the things I wrote... my conflict would be laid bare. Perhaps it will help to see that Citheec's words are true. At least the letter is not in here....I started this record after that day in the Dervish camp.....still there is enough. If I can read it to her I will not be exposed. I remember the joy on Citheec's face at the end of that day in the Dervish camp and Yvet glowed like a magical flower. I must see that returned to them. I hid away that letter, it is gone now. All that matters is to see them happy as on that day. She has begun to remember....thank you Onn. I can put away my book.
Till now as I record the things that happen to me. It has been the help that Bee promised it would be to put down the things of ones hart. In the writing and the reading of it I learn who I am. There has been conflict with the way I feel for Yvet. No more.....I care for her and Citheec...one as much as the other ...I can not separate my feelings . I can not separate them.

Entery 10
Later to day Citheec and Yvet will be wed. I have slept little as I rustled with what will happen this day. The clan master visited me late the other night. He had heard of some of my drunken boasting; just as Neptunn had on his arrival in Freeport. The poor fool who had continued to tell the tell will be foolish no more. I suppose I should be thankful that their be no one around to continue the grief of those days. I have learn much since then. Enough that I was not going to make mention of them here in my writings. Perhaps I should, lest I forget that a drunken tongue can be very costly. I had just finished a letter to Yvet and was planning to give it to her when we went to dinner with Bee. Instead we cross paths with Curah, they had "the "conversation about Barbarians. My hart had it first taste of fear that Yvet may not share the way I felt. OH....I was not sure how I felt that's why the letter. I was on the edge of coming of age.... So confused was I. That's when I learned to Drink. I purposely went to the outer pubs away from the main thoroughfares of Freeport least any one should know me. I drank and drank and would sit in the back of the pub and read over and over the letter to Yvet. That poor old fool, thought the letter was special, me an ogre in love , that was a tell to tell. Ah ...he won't tell it no more. Cj was very kind in his dealing with me. He new that I had no past to call my own. That I was nearly full grown when Bee adopted me on the island and taught me to be who I was. He knew the time had come for me to come of age; things would change greatly for me. He new more of what it meant to be an ogre than did I. All though he cared for me and me for him he would not allow me to harm one of his clan. I had turned down his invite. If it was not for the deep bond of friendship that Citheec held for me I would have been dispatched by Cida for being a threat to a clan member. It is not certain if Citheec could defeat me in a contest of steel.
Cj does not want to lose Citheec if he can prevent it.
So what of this fools tale, asked Cj
Cj is a mighty wizard and I dare not try to hide anything from him. I shared with him that I had planed to lay claim to Yvet but this was before I had come of age. I had much confusion and uncertainty, I tried to practice in the pub my claim as you have discovered. Before I could figure out what I was feeling. Yvet and Cithee had found each other. Cj sat down at the table with me. His hand covering my own. Z you have come of age and are a grown male what are your intentions. I cast my eyes to the ceiling....I called out to Onn and Morda. Master Cejogga I have a deep bond of friendship with Citheec and will see no harm come to him. I trust in your words Z but I do see in your eyes that there is a deep knotting of lust and friendship for this Yvet. I looked at Cj and repeated my words slowly and with strenght......I will see no harm come to him. Very well then I shall see you at the wedding my friend.
At the wedding...it is to be today. In a numb unfeeling trance I retrived the letter to Yvet from its hiding place. I sat down at the table where Cj had sat the night before. I stare at the words on the page....time was stoped and I stared and stared. I blinked my eyes and took in the look of my battered hands holding the paper. There will be scares from my distruction of the mail box that day. I folded the paper as before and returned it to its hiding place..I will see no harm come to him.
Things were going along fine till Citheec produced the contract between Yvets father and Neptunn. Now Cj's eyes were burning into my very soul. Pulling at the not of emotions he had spoke of the night before. If I hold still, if I do not breath can he reach in and pull the answer from this tangled mess of feelings... I hear my words as I had said them to CJ...I will see no harm come to him. I look up into Cj's eyes...I hear his voice say I understand......but the choice has been made. The clock of life had moved on the opportunity was gone. Yvet would belong to Citheec. The pain of indessison for ever mine to bear.

[p] [/p][p]Entery 11 [/p][p]Today me and Bee and Wellyn went to Nek to work on some city writs. It was good to get out and fight. We did well and I gained another advancement in skill. I was recovering from a battle, sitting against a tree to rest when I heard the voice of Weylln as he spoke to Bee. Uhmm I was expecting hear Citheec and Yvet. Citheec............Yvet.....maybe I was weaker than I thought.........for I cried. I could not control it. I took a few steps then fell to the ground, let go and wept. I had never done so before. I heard steps and thought Bee had found me. It was not her but a spider. It attacked me and wrapped me in it silk. I was in no mood to fight....so I lay there as though dead. It moved on past me to find some more prey. I lay there sobing, my head spining from the battel and the flood of tears. Bee can you not hear me, do you not see me. Is there no one...am I alone. The wind came up and leaves swirled around. I tried to rise up and fell. As I went down a blackness came over me.....I was back on the ship going to the island of the overlord...I was awakening on the ship as before. But wait this is not the first time..I know all that has happened from my first awakening till now..........what is this about. [/p][p] [/p][p] Slowly the darkness gave way to light and I again was wraped in spider silk. [/p][p] I tore at the silk and got to my feet. Bee and Wellyn had moved on. On the ground at my feet was a rat like the ones that had been on the ship. Z it said, it is time that you learn who you are. Study the books and papers that were on you when you first awoke know the history of your people. Then it attacked me. This was no rat that I fought.....my blows passed through it like it was not there............it's bites and claws were real enough........never have I felt such pain. There was a heat and burning to them.....no blood but a glowing of wounds. From the wounds came flashes of memories. The visit of Cj the other night......the night in the inn with Broudy.....the meeting of Yvet....the training of Raz and loona....the joy of meeting Cepa; quick burst of memory going back, back to the ship back to the making of a name. Exhausted and confused I fell back upon the ground the blackness over took me. The pain of my wounds radiated like the riples of a stone tossed in a pond from me. In the darkness I could feel the out line of a heavy door. OPEN the door came a voice. Behind the door was glowing orbs of.........memories.........I saw my self as a young child.......faces that I could not name but that I knew. One of the orbs came towards me I looked into it and saw me with a chest a very old box. There were the sounds of battel all around........I was runing with it and calling out for some one. Then the image was blured by a intense pain. I drew back from the viewing of it . Holding on to the open door ....I turned in the other direction and saw the image of Yvet being drawn away from me. No I yelled. The blackenss was back but my hands held firm the door and the distent glowing of memories could be seen in the distance. My eyes opend to see the rat upon my chest. It had been laid opend and the image of Yvet grasped in its jaws. [/p][p] [/p][p]The wind was blowing strong aginst the rats fur and he droped the image of Yvet. The image came to be as a pool of ink upon a page of paper. [/p][p]The glowing wound on my chest boild the image, the ink, it started to float away as smoke.....not all of it there was some that remaind on the wound....it sank back down deep into it a perminte stain. The rat squealed at the wind and ran off out of my view. I rolled over my face burried in the leaves and grass. I could not stop the sobbing . A gental breez was blowing and there was a frgerent mist in the air. I began to clam. I rolled over and the breez was drying the glowing wounds. I could hear the river lapping against the stones and I fell to sleep. I awoke and was my self again. I was still in Nek where I had been with Bee and Weylln. I steped away from the tree and there on the ground was the web from the spider...........was it not a bad dream. I removed my armor and on my chest was a small stain, like the blackest of ink. [/p][p]Entery 12 [/p][p]It has been 2 days sense the my encounter with the spider in Neck. I have remained in a tent on the beach resting. The pain I my head is greater than for any ale and my body almost vibrates with a soreness. My sleep is disturbed with flashes of sights and sounds. Nothing remains long enough for me to know what or why it has come to me. I will finish the food and drink that I have with me and hope that tomorrow will bring relief.[/p][p] [/p][p]Entery 13 [/p][p]I awoke to day to the calling of the birds. Hmm..........I slept sound last night . I get up and stroll down to the dock. Don't feel to bad to day. I spot the form of someone getting off a ship. I know that mass..........its Cepa. I ran up behind him and took a sweep at his legs but his reactions were quick and we rolled together on the blanking of the dock. His legs were healed form our fight with the centaurs. Shepa is not only a good cook but a fine nurse. We set out into Neck to fill some of the requisitions we had gathered at the harbor. After a spell Deathsclaw joined us and we worked on some writs of Freeport. Weylln came from Qyenos and joined in. We accomplished much, then Cepa and Deathsclaw need to go about some other things. So me and Weylln headed over to the Thundering Steps. He is a most interesting fellow and I enjoy are talks. I enjoy more are contest of drink. I even won some money from that goblin. Weylln is lucky and one to have around. He won a couple of times. Finally I laid down and with the room spinning from the contest of drink I fell off to sleep.[/p][p]Entery 14[/p][p]Today showed the progression of time and talents. I have spent much time of late in the field and have gained in levels of skill. Darkrose/ Darkosex asked me to join her in Nek . She has spent much time in her studies. I had to mentor her. She had been my mentor on the island of the over lord. I had a lot of pride in returning the jester. She is becoming quite skilled in her spells. Deathsclaw joined us and Citheec. It seems that Yvet was busy house hunting. We finished a writ for the city in short order. Funny but Citheec appears to have a stronger stride now that the wedding is over. There be no pubs in Neck so at the close of our adventuring I head over to the Common Lands there is at least a seller of provisions with something to offer. I ran into Broudy and we had a good time in the Walling Caves. [/p][p]Entery 15[/p][p]Met Cith and Yvet today at the new house. So fancy and they have pets. I liked the one scruffy cat makes a nice sound when you pet it. The conversation was disturbing . They talked about the guild and having Qyenosions as members. Yvet had an important point, what would we do if there was all out war between the two cities. The guild is excepting of one another but the cities are not. None of the guild mates from Qyenos was able to come to the wedding. Freeport would not allow them entrance and the guild may now be under surveillance by the over lord. Cith suggested that they talk to CJ maybe it was time the clan became its on guild. Maybe for the safety of our friends in Qyenos we should spilt. It would not be good for the them if the overlord consider them a threat. [/p][p]Entery 16[/p][p]Was going to the bank thinking about getting some stuff out to craft...not my favorite thing to do . Ran into Deathsclaw and we decided to go to the Thundering Steps to work on some quest. Was a much better time. Not seen much of Cith or Yvet lately.........Do miss being with them.[/p][p]Entery 17[/p][p] Today me and Cepa went to the Commonlands to hunt Orcs. Cj has asked the clan members to gather items from off the enemies of Freeport. The items are important to the guild houses. I believe that Cith and Yvet may of spoken to him. Cj has affection for the members of the Children of Tao but he has not agreed with the openness towards the Qyenosions. H e has always said that in a divided world it is not wise to build ones house on the bridge between the divide sides. The world is black or white, you can not live where it is always gray, visit but not exist. He has asked the clan not to turn in such items to Tao but to him. I do believe he intends to form another guild.[/p][p]Entery 18 [/p][p]Got word from Cith today, he and Yvet our going to see if they can find her uncle Baylinto . Don't know how long they will be gone. Hope they be ok, they say it is not wise to travel out side of the over lords influence. His army no can help you out there. It was wise of Cith to go.....maybe the distance make it easier for me. Cith no fool he know I have feelings for Yvet. I know she want him, and Cith very taken with her. They belong together. Me love them both, just wish I no have these feelings for Yvet makes it difficult. Maybe time and distance will cool the fire in my hart for her . [/p][p]entery 19[/p][p]With Cith gone me been spending more time with Cepa. We went to the thundering steps to hunt Gnolls and more guild items. We did good and were having a well earned ale at the tavern in thunder mist village when the room started to spin and grow black. In the blackness I could hear the squeals of a rat. Then I saw it face, it was the rat that had tore at my hide in Neck, when the spider had attacked me. His face grew larger and larger, but I could see through it, like a ghost. I was staring in to his eyes, they bobbed, up and down and glowed like the orbs of memory from that day. One of them grew, and grew, over taking my field of vision, till I was in side of it, watching. I was a young boy tracking a deer. Then I saw him, it was Cepa. He was a boy also. Hay wait a min, that's my deer. I ran in and we made short work of it together. Then I turned on him and bloodied his face. Toogra was punishing me when I heard voices around me. It was Wilyard, bee had sent him. I stood up, I was back at the inn in the village. Cepa had sent word to Bee that I had passed out. Wilyard is a Doctor? So he came to help. I remembered, me and Cepa were boys together. He knew who I was . All this time and he said nothing. He claimed he thought it in my best interest not to let on he knew me. Perhaps he was right. With Wilyard's help it was discovered that I was under the effects of some ancient magic. Cepa had thought so and that is why he kept quite. All I could remember was the events of that one afternoon. I still did not know my name. I had heard it but did not know it. Cepa told me it was Rask...at this time it means nothing to me. Wilyard said that Ponder may be able to learn something of this magic and help me. It has something to do with a ancient box. Cepa will send her samples of the writing on it, for he has pieces of it. After all these years I may learn who I am.....or was.[/p][p] entery 20[/p][p] Cepa sent the samples to Ponder of the writing but no word yet...she just got them. Nice to know that me and Cepa have history together and from the same tribe, just wish I had more memories. Cepa not say to much about past say it not fair him to talk about things I don't remember. He rather talk about things we both know about. Makes me wonder if there are more from the tribe to be found.. Cepa says he not found any others yet. Me glad he fallowed after me even if it was only cause of the box. I gather I was not liked much among the tribe.[/p][p]Entery 21[/p][p] I am so lonely with out Cith and Yvet..... Traveled in Neck to day on my own have a few requisitions to work on for the dock master . Having trouble finding some of these things they not in the place he said they might be.[/p][p]Entery 22 [/p][p]Joined with some travelers in Neck and we found a castle with a lot of dead things...lots of agro plenty of fighting was a lot of fun. Me need to join up with others more. Maybe find another tribe member who knows.[/p][p]Entery 23[/p][p]got a call from Knee to join her and a group in a cave in Thundering Steps. Me hate caves...Z to big to crawl around in them but me go. Was an eye opener. Z need to practice fighting more in large groups I was very lacking in skill to help the group in the best way. Me tried very hard but need to do more. Have not been helping much with new recruits for the Clan. Not been any lately. That was always more one on one training . Went back to trainers and got more instruction. Z must remember to not let schooling fall be hind like that again.[/p][p]Entery 24[/p][p] me meet 2 new guild mates today on beach in Neck they have been advancing rather quickly in levels of learning and skill. The one fellow is a Iksar like Shepa and pretty good fighter. The other was a elf female, she look so delicate but she held her own. Did not spend to much time with them had other appointments. [/p][p]Entery 25[/p][p] worked in the trade skill shop today making some weapons. Not my favorite thing to do but I am getting better at it.[/p][p]Entery 26[/p][p] today Bee was to perform a ceremony for Shepa and Cida they were going to exchange vows. Cida was unable to make it he was away on business for Cejogga the clan master any other excuse and Shepa would of baked him into a pie. Got to see the new guild members again. Tired to speak to the female but she did not have much to say maybe elves don't like ogres. [/p]

Entery 27
Cj arrived back to day with Cith. He heard about the ceremony for Shepa and Cida or the lack of one and held a private ceremony for them. After wards there was much discussion about Cj starting a guild. There was a lot of talk about how the qenosing members of the guild were unable to attend Cith and Yvets wedding and there had been more talk about the differences between the 2 great cities. Cj stood up from the table and said it is time the clan went its own way and then left.
Entery 28
the rain has been heavy today in big ben maybe I will go over to Neck and try to finish up some task. Have a rather long list. Some of the items have been difficult to find.
Entery 29
I have been traveling around the area of Bone Lake in Neck for the past day looking for fairies. Going to be hard to fill this work order if they have moved to another location. Wish Cith would of come along to help kill the time. I think he is trying to stay in town case Yvet returns. The longer she is away the darker is his mood. Being out here alone may not be so bad after all.
Entery 30
gave up on the fairies they must have moved on. Found an old encampment that was over run with ghouls. They provided some great exercise. They had a stash of guild treasures. Cj had asked everyone to start collecting what they could for the new guild. I had turned Cj down when he had asked me to be a part of his clan and remained a close friend and ally. Then it was not so hard to say no and remain separate. Much has happened since those early days. It is good that I be out and about by my self I have much to consider.
Entery 31
today I was hunting some skellys needed to collect some toe bones for the spell casters in Freeport. I like the wind chime noise they make when you destroy their animation. Played a silly game with my self as they fall apart. Skull roll face up I stay with the children of tao if they roll face down I go with clan. Maybe not so silly, I must chose. Bee, mom and Darkrosex belong to tao. They have been with me since the begin of this life, my life as Z . Cj was my roommate when first I got to big ben. He had helped me to find the voice of my inner warrior. I wish that there was no need to choose and that the way of tao was the way of the world. That is not how it is the world is divided by ideas and opinions. I must way my own feelings and see were I fit in .
Entery 32
today I came across an old castle. It is home to many creatures of the nether world as far as I was able to explore. I had not made it a cross the entrance yard when I was over come. Though I had lost the battle and suffered to sleep for a day and a half to recover. The event help me to decide my choice. In my sleep I recalled many of the events of my life since I came to the isle of the over lord. I will be joining the clan, my strongest friendship require it. Cj had said that we would honor the children of tao with an alliance. I hope that Bee will understand, I am sure that she will.
Entery 33
Was hunting rumble roots today when I found a kerra doll. Oh how I miss Yvet. Even though it is difficult to be in the present of her and Cith, and my hart is divided between them. Life is so much more empty with out her or him. I dust off the doll and remember the day that I gave one of these to Yvet. I remember the day that Cith almost failed to return from a deep sleep. I wonder could we 3 share the same spirt. Our we some how connected to one another. So strong is my feeling for each of them .
Entery 34
Cepa joined me a few days ago and we have been having a good time finishing up the list of work orders. I have been improving my ability to hold the agro and protect Cepa. He still thinks he is superior cause of his ability to cast spells but he is not able to take the amount of damage as I can. I believe it is a trade off he can cast but I can take more damage .Who to say which is better, but if it make him feel important ok with me.
Entery 35
alone, again. Cepa had to head back home for something. I think he just got tiered of me trying to ask him about my past. He refuses to tell me anything that I do not have a memory of. Which means we have little to talk about. He sent ponder copies of the writing on the box and she said that I would receive my memories in bite and pieces as a function of the spell, If at all. I should have been killed, taken the final sleep along with the guards that day. Some times it might have been better if I had. I came upon a nice set of earrings and could think only of Yvet. I have been collecting jewelry from my adventures for some time. Some times I give some to the tavern girls. Maybe it is time to spend a little time in a tavern.
Entery 36
I left the tavern in WF today and wondered through the bazaar. Mid day found me at the pet shop. On occasion Cith would have me go by the house and feed their pets. I had grown to like the cat named Thomas. As I roamed through the crates of goods I spotted a scruffy looking cat that had a set of knowable eyes. The store keep said to be careful of him he was not sociable but an exhalent hunter. He helped to keep the mice out of the feed so he allowed him to stay around. We stared into each other eyes for a moment. Then I reached out to him and he rubbed his head into my hand. That's how Katt came to live with me.
Entery 37
Today Cj summon the clan together the guild had been registered with the city of Freeport and it was time to set down the expectations. The guild is aligned with Freeport and its members will serve the city. Every member is responsible for the other members, one for all and all for one. Each member is to provide for the clan in the way of trade goods. Everyone must gather and provide raw items for those that craft. The children of Tao are to be assisted when ever and what ever they may ask. Less it violates the city of Freeport. Tao members are to be considered family even those of Qyenos. It was Cj concern for his Qyenos friends that prompted the formation of the guild. Cj has a standing with the city of Freeport and there was unfriendly questions about his Qyenosion friends. By align the clan with the city he hoped to stop the concerns. By maintain the ties with Tao he hops to teach both cities that cooperation is possible.
Entery 38
Katt has been a good addition to my existence we understand one another. I was sitting at the fountain in the square in big ben reading one of the books that I have collected in my travels. He was stalking a large rat. I watched as he crept up as close as he could then bolted out and grasped the rat by the throat. He held on tight till the rat stop struggling. He then trotted over to me with the rat. I had shared my food with him now he was sharing with me.
Entery 39
Cepa came by today and said that Shepa was in need of some raws. So we departed for a new area to hunt the Enchanted lands. As we explored and gathered he shared with me the stories of the box of Kurge. The box of Kurge holds the history of the tribe before the Shattering. My name, sake, Rask is the one who had found the box and what it held after the shattering. It was many, generations before the writings could be understood. It was that box that held the spell that took my memories. I had tried to open the box and that is when the spell went off and killed the guards and took my memory. Cepa was put in charged of the box by the tribe. He had fallowed me to the Island of the overlord because of the box. I do not yet remember that day.

[p] [/p][p]Entery 40[/p][p] my head snapped around and my eyes blinked several times in disbelief. The ship that just pulled up to the dock, there was a woman at the rail. I knew her........by the gods it was Yvet. She had made it back. I jumped aboard swept her up and spun her around. So glad was I to see her. Her first words were to ask if Cith had made it back ok. Yes but what of her adventure, did she find her uncle...did the lead pan out. Her eyes were so sad as she told me that it had not, my hart hurt for her. Come I am to meet Cepa shortly lets chase the sorrow form your hart. We will do battle and let the warrior in us sing, like in days gone by. Cith is out with Cj and will not be back for a few more days and there is lots to tell you .[/p][p]Entery 41[/p][p] Yvet has gone on to meet with Cith. My spirit was so renewed after having fought together. I knew that I had missed her I just did not know how much. Cepa was uneasy with how her and me had laughed and talked together. We were close friends and had shared many battles together. I did not understand his mood.[/p][p]Entery 42[/p][p] My bags are full so I will be heading home for a few days. Yvets back so there is no need to go by her place and feed the cats and all. Katt will be glad to see me, he all ways is. I wonder if I should get another one so he would have a friend. When I am out it is usually with a guild mate. I do not care to be out on my own for long periods of time. Battles are best when there is a witness. The joy in the retelling of them is the difference of opinions.[/p][p]Entery 43[/p][p] I could not believe my fortune, as I left the inn tonight I stumbled across a cat that looks just like Katt. Took me most of the night to chase him down. He very fast and new the alley well. He could not resist the fish that I got as the monger was going to work. Katt was not to happy to see him. Kitt, as I call him was just as put out. The first day they challenged each other and had squabbles. Katt would come to me and I would pet him and give him treats as I always do and he would purr. Late the first night Kitt came to me and I gave him a treat, he took it and hid under the bed. At least Katt will not be alone all the time. Maybe in time they be friends.[/p][p]Entery 44[/p][p] the enchanted lands, EL is an interesting place. It is not as dark and foreboding as Neck. For a forest Neck is on the dark side. Here there are tall hills and a river. Come across a village of half lings with there house carved out of hill sides. Even when they build a house, for there are some a associated with a Placida they have the same round doors, like rabbit holes. Maybe I ask Weylln some time. He is a half ling. Make sense if you small like rabbit to model home like rabbit.[/p][p]Entery 45[/p][p] been hunting fairies a long the coast they have been a nuisance to the docking ships. Some of them have patches of writing that I have been studying I do believe I begin to understand what they say, now I know why Cj is a hunter of fay.[/p][p]Entery 46[/p][p] cepa joined me to day and said that we need to gather all the raw material as we could for Cj and Shepa. They have been doing well with their sales. [/p][p]Entery 47[/p][p] today me and Cepa took a commission to help with a troop of goblins on one of the beaches. They very tough and we have not been very successful. Those that we have killed have had some good loot. It may take some time or some help to complete this commission. [/p][p]Entery 48[/p][p] tonight Cepa over step his place.. We had gone to the inn and he wanted to talk about the day Yvet had returned. Some thing about my behavior with her and that of the tavern girls. I t was a good fight, I still think the inn keeper over charged me for his tables.[/p][p]Entery 49[/p][p] the last few days I have been mining and gathering roots milling over the fight with Cepa. I should not of been so difficult with him, to much ale. That's what started it, Cepa said I had a habit of drinking to much when I had been around Yvet. "What was I trying to hid from ", he said. The more I pounded on this stone the more I realized there was something to what he said. I did drink more and was more aggressive with the bar maids when I had been around her. The time that she has been away real showed the difference between when she is around and when she is not.[/p][p]Entery 50[/p][p] I was down at the docks in the EL today when a young paladin ask for some assistance from those getting off the ship. I offered to help, been a time since I worked in the mentoring role. Cj has not been recruiting any more, he is content with the size of the clan. He has allowed us to bring in more members to the guild but as yet none have joined. It helps to refresh ones skills by imparting knowledge to another. I miss those early days of the clan and the training. [/p][p]Entery 51[/p][p] I returned home to empty my bags and collect what funds there may be from the broker. Kitt and Katt have learned to get along. I am glad. I was watching them team up on rat. Kitt was laying low ready to pounce as I stare at him, intense on the target, the room started to go black then I heard the sounds of birds and felt a gentle breeze. Light came back slowly and now I was seeing the sights and sounds of my past. Another memory was about to be played out. [/p][p] I worked hard to keep pace with him and yet be distant enough not to be caught. It was late in the day when finally.... One of Obla's snakes gave me away. It had to be his doing, that snake is never found in the trees like that...........and to fall upon me . I yelled....... for Toogra, ah less he to be put upon by the snake. Toogra was greatly surprised to find me. Then very cross. "You are to young yet for this trip," he said. I am here so I must not be to young. I said For that I got a quick and heavy hand to the face. Mind your place "young one or I will send you to see Onn." said Toogra. Its was but a few hours before dark when the palisade around the trading post came into view. The walls were tall and there were guard post placed along it. Toogra was strangely quiet as we walked towards it main gate. We stopped half way there. Toogra sat down on the path, his eye shut, his breaths deep and steady. "what is it Elder," a title of respect. I thought it best to use at this time. I had not seen Toogra so deep in thought and so much concern in his eyes before. He sighed, and open his eyes. He's gaze reached into my own eye like never before. "Young one this is the trading post. Here you will met the world as it is now. This is not our encampment....not our tribe...not our people...not our ways. The Orinany have spent our energies to preserve our selves as a people and stay away from the turmoil of the world as it is now. The mountains and hills of our lands no longer hold the metals that we need to build weapons and tools. It is my place with in the tribe to come and exchange goods." he said. He reached out for my shoulders and held them firm as he continued to speak. " the world must not know of us.....not yet our numbers are to small yet. If the tribe is to survive we must remain hidden." shaking me he asked," do you understand? You must stick close to me and say nothing, not one word, We will not speak with in the walls. I will sit with you all night and we will speak after we leave the trading post." He drew me close to him, "remember when I first taught you to hunt?"[/p][p]To be quite and taken in all that surrounded you.?" Yes I answered." you must be quite and learn all that you can.....have many questions for me when we talk" "Yes, elder", I answered.[/p][p]Hunting, had triggered it? I picked up Kitt, rat and all, he had a death grip on its throat. Obla, is that you, give me back my memories. Kitt only hissed and growled trying to hold on to his kill. I put him down and sat on the bed.[/p][p] [/p][p]Entery 52[/p][p]I caught up with Cepa in the El and shared the memory with him. I asked him why the tribe had to hide. He said that was always my problem, I never could understand the need to stay separate from the world. The world of Kurge was gone and had been gone for generations it was foolish to try to hold on to it. Cepa said that the elders had chosen to do so and until those that were to become elders decide to change things we need to respect the elders and fallow their teachings. I suppose it does not matter now as the tribe is gone. [/p][p]Entery 53[/p][p] I am trying to do my part for the guild and work a few of the trades skill writs. Working at the forge is not as exciting as filling the commissions which often require the killing of enemies of the city of Freeport. [/p][p]Entery 54[/p][p] uhg , ran out of supplies for the forge now I will have to go back to Thundering Steps to gather more. Perhaps I will run across a few centaurs. I could stand to beat a few of them to the ground as I harvest. [/p]

[p]Entery 55[/p][p] finished up 2 writs still have 2 more to do and of course I am out of supplies again. So its off to the Steps again. Got word from Ponder half way trough the day asking for some help in the Enchanted Lands, could not get there fast enough. Cepa and Kneebasher joined in also. We had a great time, finally was able to teach those Grinins along the beach a thing or 2.[/p][p]Entery 56[/p][p]was rummaging trough my packs to see if I had any more carbonate for the writs I have been working when I came across a note . Some one I had meet in the tavern a while back that was being hunted by an assassin. I had offered to dispose of his troubles. I checked on him and he was still in hiding, last he knew the assassin had gone to North Qyenos to wait him out. He has a decent little business at the crossroads in the Comonlands to go back to some time. I remembered that Wellyn was there that night so I contacted him. He remembered the fellow and offered to help and sneak me into Qyenos to find the guy. I should of passed this off to Cida and Shepa being as this is there area of expertise but he had already paid that was what had bought such a good time that night. I meet Wellyn in Antonica and we proceeded to try to sneak into the city. There were to many guards near the gates to get by so we tried to get in trough the sewers. Wellyn got lost at first . We finally made it into where we need to be. Again there were to many guards to try to sneak by. This is not my thing, ducking behind trees, trying to sink into the stone work of a building. Besides what will happen when I do confront him. Wellyn I think I will have you pass a message on to him for me and I will meet him in Antonica on a proper field of battle.[/p][p]Entery 57[/p][p] well that nasty business is done, must be more careful, of drunken boastings. Returning to big bend today still got a few craft orders. Have not heard from Yvet or Citheec. I am becoming concerned, surely they would of contacted me by now with plans for a grand adventure. Citheec had been spending a lot of time working with Cj while Yvet was gone. Cj and Cith were busy seeing about the formation of the guild. I hope that all is well. Looking back me and Cith did have a disturbing exchange one night. I had tried not to think to much of it, we both had been deep into a keg of ale. I was eyeing one of the tavern girls when Cith asked me some thing about why I left so suddenly after the wedding. Not sure I heard all that he said. "Just had some business to attend to, that I really should of rescheduled," said I He looked at me in a way I was not prepared for. I just hope all is well with you my friend, and that there be no secrets, no issues unspoken between us. In a flash I remember the sound of Cj's voice in my head at the wedding....the choice has been made. Surly Cj would not tell Cith about what we had spoken of. They have spent much time together but.....no. I will go to the craft center and let the fall of the hammer drive such concerns away.[/p][p]Entery 58[/p][p]well I have gained another couple of levels in trade skill best get out and do a little adventuring . Not to fond of the craft center its far to confining . One is obligated to provided their talents to the guild. It is a good place to ponder things. At least now I will be able to harvest at the same tier, level, that I adventure at. Off to the Enchanted Lands.[/p][p]Entery 59[/p][p] to day me and Cepa were sharing a bite to eat at the docks in the EL, not totally sure what to do with our selves. There was the usual collection of adventurers crying out there class and level of skill seeking to team up with other adventurers. It is not wise or profitable to adventure by ones self. I have never been one to do such a thing as cry out like that. There has always been plenty of companionship with in the guild, Children of Tao. Things have been different with in the new guild, Clan Cejogga. The alliances are there, the friend ships are there. The amount of contact is different. We don't share the same meeting ground with the Children Of Tao, COT, so we do not see each other as often. The cord that binds together is thin and long. The cord that binds the Clan is fat and short. We share a common room and meet often. [/p][p]I am sadden by these events but I see Cj's wisdom. If Freeport and Qyenos should ever go to war as painful as it would be the cord could be cut betweens us and the Qyenos members of COT. Perhaps it would be to thin to be of notice. I down another ale, lean back in my chair, close my eyes, try to turn my mind from such heavy thoughts. [/p][p]Entery 60[/p][p]still no word from Yvet or Cith. My mood is dark and brooding . Cepa has dragged me down to the docks in the EL to celebrate achieving another level of skill. Though I be older than he we have ran a close race in the achievement of skills/levels. He forgets the amount of time that I have spent mentoring, training others. Suppose that is do to the fact that we were close in levels when Cj introduced him to me. It has been a good brotherly competition. I miss the days of training..............uh I do not want to spend another day swirling around a keg, groaning over days gone by. I salute Cepa and lean back in my chair. The sun is warm and the breeze is gentle, I close my eyes.........yes Cepa I remember. I hear again the cries of adventurers. They shout out there class and level of skill looking to team up with others. that's it, that's the direction I will take. No more will I wait for what has been to return to me. Yvet and Cith are wed, they left to look for her uncle. Though they have had no success, still they have not contacted me. The awesome threesome of Zudre, Yvet and Cithecc has not been reunited. May never be reunited. It may be for the best. I chose to be silent and not come between them. Yes it is better to let them both go than to chose one over the other. It is time Z do more than wait around for what was . Cepa my brother lets really celebrate. I left the bar and went out on to the dock and answered the call of 2 younger adventures. Starwar and Llia. They were younger than me and Cepa in skill/level, but were willing to meet any challenge. We made a good team and blended are different classes of skills together and were very successful. I shall answer such calls from now on. I enjoy traveling with Cepa, my guild mate, my tribe mate, my brother. Z need more in his life, I want the joy and purpose I felt when with Yvet............and Cith. Me get out and join with others and find it again.[/p][p]Entery 61[/p][p] today Cj called the clan together to discuss special writs or quest that bring status to the guild. We haven been asked to seek them out, Cj has gotten rather involved with building a standing for the guild with in the city. Strange Yvet and Cith were not here. Cj said that they were out and about. Then asked about mine and Cepa's adventures in the EL. That was a status quest and he thanked us. So that is the path I should walk. Seek out adventures and advance the guild.[/p][p]Entery 62[/p][p] today me and Cepa head out to Neck to work on a heritage quest it involved collecting a large number of items. We enlisted the aid of two citizens of Qyenos one Mechanic and Xare. They were both rather amusing with there un familiarity with ogres. Perhaps it was just a joke, I am use to the "ugly" comments. That is what had made Yvet so special, she never showed that I was any different from her. We had several good fights as we worked the q / quest. The pay off for the quest was good, Cj will be pleased.[/p][p]Entery 63[/p][p] today me and Cepa teamed up with a odd assortment of "players" Lilybell was a "fay " a more intelligent and advance race of fairy. It was ironic to see her traveling with Cepa and his title " killer of fairies" Playerhata and Synryder was also part of the group. I wonder if Cepa will change his title after having met Lilybell. She was very pleasant and a major help to the group. I am enjoying this grouping with traveling adventures. Much can be learned from one another. P layerhata was seeking a "named" person at the citadel in Neck. Me and Cepa waited with him for some time and did not find him. We will have to get together again and see if we can not complete his quest.[/p][p]Entery 64[/p][p]I came across the instructions for building a unique looking weapon today in the EL. It will take some time to gather these items together to build this, it may prove to be of some interest. Cepa has been summoned by Cj, still no word from Yvet or Cith. Oh well this should keep me busy for a few days.[/p][p]Entery 65[/p][p]I was hunting the sword fish that are part of this weapon when I heard a small party being routed by the grinins along the beach. I arrived just in time all but one of them were down. I enjoyed pulling them off the pour fellow and pounding them soundly. They thanked me but were planning to return to their home cities soon so I did not join them. [/p][p]Entery 66[/p][p] my packs are full of hides and I am out of paper for my journal so I will make my way back to Big Bend it will be good to see Kitt and Katt . I have come across another book in the past few days to add to my collection. Me have quite a number. I will spend a few days at home maybe me ck on Yvet and Cith.[/p]

[p]Entery 67[/p][p] the sun is coming up , I am standing by the bird tower in the steps near the area of the giants. A griffon is landing. It is Yvet. She smile in her special way, "I have been looking for you my friend. Lets have some sport with the giants." it was in our 3rd battle that I went down. She ran in and finished the brute off. My vision went black as he hit the ground. I could barely hear her voice then I felt a warm moist sensation on my check. Yvet, did she just kiss me, again the sensation. I reached out. Hu ...what ..ah it is Kitt licking my face. Curse it was a dream. I sat on the edge of the bed my face in my hands. [/p][p]Entery 68[/p][p] spent the last few days with Broudy and a pair of our favorite girls. One should not spend to much time in the field with out relaxing. Broudy asked once what was going on with me, I had called him Cith one night before passing out, they are both barbarians. I dare not tell him of my dream. I explained that I had not seen him much since the wedding. Broudy made a comment about the difficulties of being a third wheel and then stopped in mid sentence. I believe the look on my face may have had something to do with it.[/p][p]Entery 69[/p][p] I left Broudy and the girls and returned home. I sat at my table and began to read over my journal entries. I saw the scares on my hands from my fight with the mail box out side of Yvet and Ciths apartment. Still no word from them. Have I lost both my friends? Why am I so tortured, perhaps it was the wrong choice, that I made. I read over and over again the events of our lives. I look to the bed and the Kerra doll that holds the letter to Yvet. How would things be if I had given it to her. [/p][p]Entery 70[/p][p] I will go to the craft center for a few days. My broker box is empty , I need to work. [/p][p]Entery 71[/p][p] Cepa asked me to meet him in Neck to try to work on the quest from the castle there. We came upon a riddle that has us stumped. It says something about looking at fine food. We found the dining hall and a boars head that offered another quest but did not help to satisfy the riddle. This may take some time. Just the distraction I can use.[/p][p]Entery 72[/p][p] still have not solve the riddle. We are going to have to find some other adventures to help with this one the 2 of us just can not . Cepa had been out in the field while I was relaxing with Broudy. He actually passed me by one level. It's going to be hard to deal with him. [/p][p]Entery 73 [/p][p] there is something strange in the air of late and all critters are acting funny. Kitt and Katt are yallowing and I do believe skagga was "flirting" with me . There was some kind of talk going on in the bank about the values of some candies that have been looted of late. [/p][p]Entery 74 [/p][p]I still don't know what it's all about but I got some of the looted candy that I heard of today off some goblins in runny eye. Found a note on a fighting boar, some one in the party said it was a love note. This is the beginning of spring and every one goes a little "crazed". HMMMMMMMMM[/p][p]Entery 75[/p][p]now I am going to go "crazed" got a rose today in the mail with a note attached from a secret admirer. My hart sang with joy and almost forgot to beat when I got it I thought it might have been form Yvet but as I looked closer at it the writing it was not hers . Besides she belongs to Cith. AH.............. how I miss them. I showed the note to Cepa and then he showed me the one he got. Some one is "crazed" alright. Me clime into a keg and think about Yvet and Cith .[/p][p]Entery 76[/p][p]Oh.................my acing head. Maybe should not of drank that last keg. Cepa wont to go to Steps.....get some fresh air???? Ok they have a fair tavern there at the docks while we shout up a group of adventurers......me get rid of headache. Coming to steps good idea.....met another ogre bruiser name of Chilkoot. Nice kid...we hunted giants. Z realy connected with him. He in need of better armor and really need a weapon. So me spend a few days in work shop and fix him up.[/p][p]Entery 77[/p][p]Sent Chilkoot some stuff today hope he not get offended.....he do belong to a qyenosing guild. He say he never hear from them.....sometimes guilds just take signatures for the sake of numbers and then do nothing.....you get to run around with there name/patch...for what? Maybe he join the clan. He already like Shepa's cooking he buy food from her pantry. Will have to see.[/p][p]Entery 78[/p][p]Today was a pleasant surprise got invited to join a group in Neck castle there a female named Carleigh she remind me much of Yvet. She smiled and joked with me and Cepa she not distant like so many of the females we have grouped with. It is nice to be treated as a person and not a beast. She made it a point to arrange to met again and continue to work on a quest in the castle. Bee was right there other females out there besides Yvet that can appreciate an ogre............I hope[/p][p]Entery 79[/p][p] me and Cepa did met Carleigh again and again she a very accomplished adventurer and has quite a range of friends that were just as excepting. Not that it has been an issue to group with other people but finding the warmth of friendship that I had with Yvet and Cith is not easy to find. The brotherhood of the clan and the children of Tao is special but Carleigh and Chilkoot and some of there friends have given me hope that there maybe a wider circle of souls yet to be encountered. [/p][p]Entery 8o[/p][p] ran into Chilkoot again he was not offended by the gifts it has been awhile sense I took on the roll of a mentor. I do so enjoy it I must seek to do it more. Chilkoot is a young bruiser ogre. I had a dream about the days of the tribe. I was being promoted from the hart of the tribe......the main housing of the infants and small children to the next circle. I wondered if Chilkoot had such memories. The tribe had try to remain hidden from the world and hold on to the old ways from before the shattering as put down by Kurge and Zellnor. I wish my memories were more intact. Cepa shares little with me of the tribe. He still harbors anger at me from planning to steal the box of Kurge. [/p][p]Entery 81[/p][p] life is harsh .....today as I spoke with the mender at the dock in Neck I heard the voice of an old friend. Citheec was traveling back to Freeport after all these long months...he was alone. He and Yvet got separated while looking for her uncle and he has not been able to find her. He knows not if she lives or died. There was a sharp pain in my chest and I fell to my knees under the weight of it, I claimed that the belt on my chest piece had a sharp bur n the repaired buckler.[/p][p] He said she had been acting a little funny before she had gone missing. He did not want to talk further on the matter, he had tried to find her, it was time to return to Freeport. She had made her way to Freeport before, if she lives and so desirer she will find her way again. It was time to be about the business of the clan [/p][p]Entery 82[/p][p]Me and Cith spent the last few days in Neck castle. We encountered several young adventurers, Cith was most diligent in securing guild booty. It was painful and awkward to hunt the dark corridors with my friend, my sword brother. Occasionally I would see an odd look on his face. The same as on me, when I pondered if I should of told him of Yvet being in the EL a few months past. She had said that they gotten separated, she was glad to see us and eager to do battle with clans mates. Me, her and Cepa fought may a good fights that day, we were going to go to the neck dock and visit the tavern there, the prices received for goods are better in Neck then the EL . As the ship approached the dock she made mention of not haven seen my apartment in Big Bend or meeting my cats. I will show them to you some time soon. She turned away to look out to sea. Me and Cepa was part way up the dock when we looked back for her. She waved from the ship and said that she really should return, and then was out of sight. It was assumed that she was to return to met Cith. [/p]

Entery 83
Today I returned to big bend time to unload some guild treasure into the bank. Plus I would like to see kitt and katt. Maybe I read more from Zellnor's book, Cepa been answering some of my question about the tribe, he know that I have the book of Zellnor from Kurgs box. It will be good to home for a time.
Entery 84
there an awful storm out side, kitt and katt both upset. Walked over to the table beside my bed and picked up one of the flowers that the anonymous person sent this past month. I inhaled the sent and the thunder clapped.....the room began to spin I fell back on the bed....the rain was coming down hard. The room went dark.....with the clap of thunder there was a flash of light.....the rat was on my chest and it had hold of Yvet's image.....it dropped it and it turned into a black stain on my chest that started to glow...it glowed brighter and brighter.....in the brightness I saw the form of CJ as he stared at me from the platform at Yvet and Cith wedding " the decision has been made" echo with the thunder as to deafen me. The echo gave way to the image of my fist pounding on the mail box out side of Yvets apartment ......my bloody hands gave way to the sight of dervish bodies laying about the day Her and Cith announced the wedding plans......my running in to slay another dervish gave way to me crossing a field in TS to join a battle with Yvet.....her response to my asking her to go to dinner and met mom......"perhaps, some day, that might be nice." her voice fading like a sweet perfume to be replaced with the sound of the rain coming down. Kitt and Katt play fighting stirred me back to the present. I just lay there the tears starting to come down my face as I looked over at the doll that held the letter that I never got to give to her and now may never do so...she may be dead. Onn why did you bring these memories to me...I am I to be punished for not letting Obla take her memory from me. Is the pain of not having shared my feelings to her not enough........now you have taken her altogether??? The flower I had try to enjoy was laying at my feet torn, broken...destroyed.....please let her live. Just then the wind blew open my door and Kitt ran under the bed. The flame of the lamp danced and cast a shadow on the wall that looked like writing .......Onn you tried before to get me to share my writings with Yvet......I wish now that I had. The wind slammed the door opened and closed violently ......very well I shouted as I go to latch the door against the wind.......if she lives I swear to you Onn I will share my words with her. Kitt and Katt chased a rat out from under the bed the three of us chased it around the room and killed it.
Entery85
Today I went to the docks in Neck was wondering kind of aimlessly still not over the "storm" of the other night. Not sure I could face Cith or Cepa right now I thought the Gods were going to bring me more pain...I could of swear that seagull called me by name.............lol it is ponder standing next to the pilling that it was sitting on. Have not seen her since
the split with the guild. She asked if I would like to go to Lavastorm. Not been there before...it an interesting place. It was great to see her again and it did me a lot of good to go to a new place to hunt....and shake off the past. She help me to get caught up on all the old guild mates. She told me Broudy had left the guild when he saw the announcement of the clan becoming a guild. Was looking to join us when he returned. He set out to find his sister and bring her to Freeport. He would send word every now and again but I had not been around West Freeport much since Cith and Yvet left and not at all since Cith has returned. I thanked her , she suggested that I try the crossroads in the CL he most like would take his sister out there to work for the Freeport militia.
Entery 86h
I fallowed ponders advice and went to the crossroads ..............had not been here in a long time. Fortune was smiling almost as large as Broudy we wrestled and joked....down a keg and renewed a friendship. Filled out the necessary paper work for the guild membership. Was having a good time when a young girl came up and just slapped broody up the back of the head a good one..... " there you are" I pulled my chair back from the table some to better enjoy the show. She was very upset with haven been left to complete a task on her own. Just then a large rat ran up and was biting at her muddy ankles.......she flew into my lap screaming. I not hear Broudy laugh so hard or long.....he almost turn blue. Me finally toss the women at him. Then she got cross with me. Broudy still laughing.....control your women I said. The bar keep brought over a round and said for us to calm down...she his sister and not a word about the uninvited guest.....to complain missy would only get you thrown out. So your Broudy sister? She said ya as she kicked at him....his younger sister...he thinks he so much smarter and stronger cause he's a big bad bruiser. Ya know it takes more than brawn to make the world go round. Me choke on brew.....sound just like Cepa, the "shadow knight" and me.
I know how you feel sister I have a younger brother that thinks he of a higher class cause he can cast. I poured her another tanker and we talked more about being looked down by our kin.
Entery 87
Was meeting Cith in the TS today we were going to hunt giants. He has been different since his return. About mid day I looked up at the horizon searching for more giants and saw a familiar speck. I strained to see......as it move closer......I forgot all about the giants......and Cith. I ran head long towards the advancing figure. The closer it got the faster I ran...the wind blowing in my face.....reminded me of my promise. I meet Yvet and swept her off her feet swinging her around hugging her tight. By
now Cith had caught up to me. Yvet jumped from my arms to his. He gave me a look as he held her. The wind came up strong as though to knock us off our feet. I pulled Cith a side. I have something of some importance to give to Yvet........it is n my room in big bend. May I take her to it and get this burden off my shoulders. Cith ,nodded and said to be sure and return HIS wife to him safely. Then took off. Yvet looking after him in confusion. Come...........I have something for you that we must discus now.......I took off at a warriors pace head for big bend. I looked back and she was fallowing .......as I ran each foot fall took me closer to my promise to Onn. She was trying to ask me what it was all about..............you will know when it is time. My voice as strong as I could make it at the time.......she fell silent after that and we made our way to big bend. I stood at the door to my room and paused for a moment. Onn I hope you know what you are doing. We entered the room.....kitt and katt came up to me then her.....as she petted them I went to the bed and retrieved the Karra doll that held the note for her that I had written so long ago. She was going on about the room....or something........I did not really hear.........I handed the letter to her. What is this....she asked.....read it.....then turned away as she slumped down in a chair at the table. I heard her as she started cry.....no....no....why now.......I knelt down beside her and looked into her eyes......when cith returned with out you I had thought you dead......I could not bear to lose you for all time and you not know how I felt. She got up from the chair and paced the room. Why did you not tell me before...................You had picked Cith.............I went and drew her a mug of ale from my keg.......she downed it in one shot......
Z.....Z....she said as she shook her head...............it ok you are here...and alive.......Z very happy.......just wonted you to know I love you.........Z you don't understand......I to have feelings for you. .....Bless you Onn...........as I approached her.......taking her face in my hands..........I leaned down and kissed her ever so gently........long I held her lips to mine........something I thought would never happen......then I pulled her close and held on as tight as I could.....she cry against me.........I gave her some time then kissed the side of her face making my way to her sweet lips....but she pulled away....do not do that........never do that again....she ran from me out into the streets......crying........wait........I must return you to Cith you can not wonder off............she cry all the harder...Cith.......I can not betray him............I looked at her and the fear on her face..............you do not have to............me know that you chose Cith........me just could not bear to lose you and you not know that I love you................come me take you back to Cith.....it will be ok..........Z love you and Cith...........I lead the way back to the dock and the boats....not giving her a chance to speak..............all the way cursing Onn...............why did he have me tell her....she chose Cith................was he not happy that I suffered at her choice...that I always wondered if she would make a different one .................how great must be is pleasure to know that I have bared my hart to only have it shattered.........I hope that I have not caused her to much pain..................what a fool I was to listen to you ONN........not ever again......Onn.......I will not be the source of your amusement..............I returned her to Cith and made quick my departure..............I headed to the common lands...........I need lots of cheap ale to wash away these woes.
Entery 88
I drank........and drank and drank some more.......the tavern girls were put to good use......if I was not drinking I was making use of them......only to drink some more......it been 3 days since my confession to Yvet.....still I could not make the pain go away....so I drink some more..............finally I pass out with one of the bar maids........not know how long me was out..............Cith came and was trying to wake me........making comments about me fighting and being drunk.......I tell him go away...not in mood today.......been having awful dreams and my head hurt..............he kept on and on....something in my head went snap...........I fought with Cith my sword brother my clansman.............beat him good.............it was like a dream.....like I watch my self do this thing...........yvet was there.
They act like it no big deal.....something to get out of my system..............Cith nodded to Yvet and he went over to see the vender..............Yvet took my hand and said......I told Cith about the letter...........Z I have feelings for you......deep feelings but they just are not the same as I have for Cith.........she look into my eyes.............I love you my brother.......my clans mate.......we are the awesome threesome. ........I hugged her. There was some relief to know at last where I stood with her my harts desire. Good now let us do battle together. First me need to wash up and shake off these kegs. So I ran off towards the river and jumped in. Yvet and Cith followed at a distance. I swam to the bottom....there lay a dead fish.....as touched it ...I saw an image of Cith......with my hands on him......no I not hurt Cith .....never will I hurt him.........I rose to the surface..........the water pulling gently away from my face as I broke the water......I saw the sky above me and grew angry at Onn...........I paddled quietly in the water and began a prayer to Morda............I promise you devotion Morda... give to me an oath to keep me from ever harming him. Swear on your own life..........came a voice from the water. Yvet and Cith were running along the shore not far from me. I left Morda's presents and fallowed them. They had stopped to talk ........I took out a knife and cut my palm....let it bleed for a moment then offered my pledge to Morda....smeared my bloody hand in the dirt of Morda ‘s earth then ran to Cith and rubbed the blood and dirt on his head making him the subject of my oath. We wrestled to the ground...Yvet laughed at our foolishness and was glad that we were still friends.
Entery 89
We have had many good battles over the past day..............I think all the ale I had drank may have made me ill......as we traveled my head begin to ring and hurt............the voices of the animals of the field seem loud to me..........finally we made camp and I rested under a tree......it began to rain...............how perfect......I care not ONN.............me through with you....you made me a fool.............I fell into a restless sleep...........as I slept the wind and rain soaked my shirt and the stain of ink that is on my chest started to fade.
Entery 90h
my hart is not as heavy as it had been and the three of us have laughed much together..............I just wish the pain in my head would stop....it not bad but always there..........and the animals of the fields still seem to call to me.....I feel so strange.
Entery 91
today me and Yvet were in the TS waiting for Cith,,,,,,,,,she was acting funny......kept asking me if I was ok.......had I passed out before???? I think she trying to play some silly joke on me like she do Cith some times.....We hunted giants to learn their langue.
Entery 92
Today Cith and Yvet woke me in one of the barns in thunder mist village.........I had scratches on my arms and face according to Yvet. Me not know how or when I got here...........last thing I remember is fighting giants and the pain in my head.......me not say anything bout this.....not till I know what is happening.
Entery 93
Today has been the most disturbing.............I awoke in a empty jail cell in the ROV.......I was only half dressed and as I gathered my belongings I found a patch of fabric that did not belong to me................I stared at it and my vision went blurry and my head hurt ....I thought I recognized the patch.......I think it belong to yvet...........the pain in my head..........must find someone to help me with this...what is happening.
Entery 94 today the awesome threesome went to Zeck...........I tried to talk to Yvet but I did not want to alarm Cith......he may not trust me if he know me not at my best to fight.........yvet more understanding...but Cith is staying to close.
Entery 95
I returned home and went to write in my book as is my habit and I could not find it. Nothing is disturbed....it no look like anyone been here....why would they take my book......I look some more...........as I look the pain in my head grows..........

[p]Entery 96[/p][p]I awake beside a lake......I am alone and glade for it.....I had a most strange dream...nightmare.........................I look out at the lake and remember parts of the nightmare.......mostly I hear a voice saying......you were strong enough to protect her why not strong enough to honor my oath............I was choking un able to breath..............my vision blurred and the pain returned......I must learn what is happening to me. [/p][p]Entery 97[/p][p]After... a few days of rest at home I am feeling more like my self. Cepa has asked me to join him in the Steps to finish a q in the cove of decay Yvet is there also she has the same q maybe now I can talk to her.........she has been ill some what also of late...she been vomiting a lot. Maybe we share the same illness........she was running up the dock from the boat and her tummy was shaking...she getting fat.....me had to tease her.....she laugh at me and said she not fat she having a baby........whooo..........what.........I hugged her I knew she wonted to have a baby. I set her down just as I grew dizzy and my vision blurred......the pain in my head got worst then a pop like a breaking bottle and the pain was almost totally gone...... so relived was I to be rid of some of that pain...........so happy was I for Yvet. I still can not find my book so I write on paper I get from skagga. Maybe I do something with my book in one of these black out that I have been having.......still not found anyone to talk to....... Do not want to worry yvet at this time. I can not be weak in the eyes of the clan. Who can I talk two.[/p][p]Entery 98[/p][p] The pain in my head still comes and goes...............I offered to yvet the doll that had held the love note for her....for the baby.......she ask me to hold on to it and give it to the baby my self........the doll has had a been a comfort in dealing with the head hurting.[/p][p]Entery 99[/p][p]Today was the first meeting of the guild Cejogga. It was good to see everyone all together. There was a ceremony to induct 5 new members into the guild. It involved a blood oath and orb of seeing. Cepa asked to do the pledge....I not be up staged by him so I to take the oath.....when I placed my hand on the orb....I saw Cj's face in my mind.......it was but for a moment. Yvet and Cith announced the coming of the baby....not that it did not show. Everyone surrounded Yvet and fussed over her...baby must be a big deal.[/p][p]Entery 100[/p][p]Today me and yvet were summoned to the thundering steps to work with him. It has been a long time since me and the clan master hunt together. I remembered some of the days gone by when I had first entered big bend and cj would council me. In truth I owe a lot to the master ...I was glad to accompany him up until we need to go to the jail in the ruins of varsson I had a sick fear of the place that I could not explain. Yvet also reacted to the place...no one spoke of it but cj did notice that both of us were made ill by the place. Could this place have something to do with the blackouts...is there some bad magic here. Cj say nothing of it.....yvet say nothing of it....nor will I [/p][p]Entery 101[/p][p] I am home today trying to rest.......the pain in my head is bad...I do not sleep well I have dreams...bit a pieces of things...toogra...cepa...the ship docking at the island...rooming with Cj...long talks with bee...yvets and cith wedding...some I remember other things I know not if they happen.....the drowning in the lake........me and yvet in the jail of varsson??? Fighting Cepa???? The howling of the wind ......The voice of a rat. I can not take much more maybe I seek out Cj and ask for his help he is a wizard he know magic....Willard had said that there was an ancient magic when I black out that first time I remember stuff when that happened....now I just black out.[/p][p]Entery 102[/p][p]today I tracked Cj down in the Steps as I crossed the giants forge towards him wondering how best to say this I cross the path of a giant I fought him the focus of my blow was blurred by the pain in my head Cj joined me in the fight. The next thing I remember was total darkness my hands and feet were bound but there was no rope or chains. I rolled with in the confines of the darkness flashes of memory the only sight or sound.[/p][p]Entery 103[/p][p]Over the hours in the darkness I have had memories....of Toogra and the trips to the out post...he telling me how the gods were playing out an evil game in me ...... my arguments with Cepa about the council of elders and wanting to stay hidden..... "When I get the box of kurge I will lead the tribe out of the mountains and we will find our place in the world. No more will the Orinnany hid behind the rocks" ........Then there was the sounds of battle. ....there was so much confusion and death. ....The box the box of kurge I held it I tore it open. ......Then there was the isle of the overlord .....I had changed ..............my speech was broken .........the voice in my head was not one of anger............ I had changed. There was the teachings of bee, mom.........the memories continued to come each seemed to have it's own voice ........those before the island ....before the teachings of bee a voice of full thought an anger .......... a voice for after....... one that was broken and caring.......back and forth...did I go .....Then ...I was in the clan meeting room...I was addressing..... Cj .....it was the angry voice.....I had been striped of my armor and weapons...Cepa Citheec Yvet and Shepa were there....I was being judged for the events that happened during the black outs and the damage I had done to my clan mates. Cepa was telling that the magic of the box of kurge had caused a split in me.....the 2 voices.....the angry voice had been the one to do these things....the voice of Rask....the ogre I had been....it was Rask ..That attacked them they would not hold me responsible as the discussion continued I heard the screams of Yvet. Her screams were of pain her crys brought back the day in the jail of varsson .......Rask.....me.....had attacked her.....he Rask....was going.....was going to violate her.....no...no......I Zudre......I stopped him........I need to stop him now.....Yvet is screaming...she is in pain...the baby......her baby...Ciths baby...........Shepa is with her......Shepa is calling for Cith.....Yvet the baby...she telling Cith...about the jail....I must stop...Rask....I must be rid of him .....I struggle...it.... like ...I am.....under.....the water.......in the dark.....I must get to the top.....to the light.....I....must...win...I... must tell her....I stopped.....Rask. .....there I see the light.....I push harder......Yvet is screaming......there....I see .....I see....it is my reflection...it is Rask.......I strikes it....I will destroy him.....I pound at him........Yvet ....she is crying......she is in pain........there I have done it.....Rask ...is gone......Shepa is calling for Cith.........Yvet the baby there is trouble........I hear Cith he is crying.......[/p][p]She is gone....the baby is gone. The wind is howling out side.....Cith is crying beside Yvet on the bed......I fell to my knees.....pounding the floor...I hear the wind .......Onn....the gods.....I will call upon them........ONN Morda Mika Obla hear the prayers of this a child of the Orinnany a child of your creation.....do not take Yvet do not take her baby. Take me...take me....The wind blew open the door it rush in and surrounded me....I take a dagger and cut my chest ...take me.....a voice from the wind ......who calls to the gods of the Orinnany......it is me Zudre. ......in the swirling of the wind I see ONN Morda Mika Obla...pledge your self to the keeping of the prayers....honor us the gods of the Orinnany....keep us alive in the telling of the stories........yes ....yes...I pledge this to you......me Zudre. The wind blows over the bed it surrounds Yvet and lifts her gently.....the blood that had soaked the bed is gone Yvet lets out a sigh and Shepa tells her to push... push .push....the cry of a baby. Thank you Onn....thank the gods [/p][p]Entery 104[/p][p] the last few days have been peaceful......the pain in my head is gone........finally I am whole....my dreams now fill in the gaps of who I was and who I have become. Me and Cepa have talked long the past few days of the fate of the orinnany. There is still more of the tribe out there some where...we may yet find more. At least the box of kurge has been saved and I will remember the gods and pass on the stories as promised I have posted a sign by the inn door and offer open reading of the book of zellnor and kurge...the offering of prayers to the gods on regular days. Big bend is the home city for ogres in Freeport there has been some interest though they not be orinnany they have been eager to hear of the gods ogre gods. So this is what the gods had in store for me to learn to have affection for others out side of the tribe that I may bring the word of the gods to others. I was not to lead the orinnany out of the mountains but to bring our gods to all ogres [/p][p]entery 105[/p][p]Yvet and little onns is doing well....Cith is a little shaken by it all he not sure about being a papa as wisp calls him the clan has grown much three more have been added me and Cith took some of the youngons as we call them out to the common lands the other day. I still enjoy the teaching The clan master has been staying in town more and working with some of those that have spent most of their time in the trades skills [/p][p]entery 106 [/p][p]Shepa was most excited CJ took her to the steps he was in need of her tracking skills she telling everyone in the trade skills who will listen. Met up with Broady and his sister in the CL broody he act funny...drinking a lot something about the castle in Neck it full of undead and ghost....hmmmm......me thought he stronger than that. Me been there with Cepa not find it that bad......maybe he be more ready to talk next time I see him.[/p][p]Entery 107[/p][p]Clan getting to be busy book me not now how often I get to write got list of recruits to visit then there is training of young eons. Me try but it may be more than days between times. Today we have gathering for Onns me give him the doll he coo and bounced in his seat happy to have it Yvet was pleased most of clan bring gifts for him. There new recruit there a oger named Crydee she fighter like Cith a berserker . She kinda stay in the background not say much.. M e try talk to her some me not have much chance to see or talk with many ogers in home city Those that come to prayers and readings are males and they be casters looking for power Cepa and Yadrak they come and then go not stay long me think Cepa have thing for Yadrak. Shepa and Cida stay a while Shepa fuss over onns. Wisp very excitied bout baby offer to take care of him any time for Yvet. Chura there but she quite for her keep looking at new fellow Kelas. he very proper and polite. He could not stay long but he looking forward to see everyone at next induction ceremony[/p][p]Entery 108[/p][p]Today we have induction ceremony for new members me stay out side clan room to greet everyone it almost a pointed time and not many here. Maybe to soon after gathering for Onns. The clan getting bigger and there is much work to be done. Me get note from Cith and Yvet then one from Cida. Kelas is here but so far he only new member to show. This not good no see Crydee.. Finally Cj tell me come on in it will be ok. Me hope so she could fighter .Need more fighters in clan[/p][p] [/p]

[p]Well, I read it. There are some intersting pieces in here, but they can be hard to find. I found my interest wavering a bit here an' there. I dunno if it's the way Z writes in his journal (the long paragraphs are especially difficult) or its the everyday stuff that make me feel much like Z when he's doing his crafting.[/p][p]The writing style is very convincing, very..."journalish". I don't think journals have ever been my prefrence when it comes to reading...[/p][p]<Grins> Waking up and not know how you got there is never good, even for a drunk.[/p][p]Don't know if you were looking for some feedback, but here it is all the same.[/p]

thanks for the feed back. Been hard to try and cut and paste stuff on this site still trying to figuer it all out. I did change the format and added more.

[p] [/p][p]Entery 109[/p][p]Me see wisp at library today she said Onns really growing fast latter me go to CL and work with Crydee She strong and show no fear her armor not very good must be hand me downs from island. She acts very proud so me no say anything I just make her some and send it after all what clan do help one another.[/p][p]Entery 110[/p][p]Me sent armor to Crydee me hope she no get upset with me. I working with Kelas and Glittringmoon in Cl moon good tracker and Kelas very good with sneak attacks they add much to clan. We hunt orcs and I looted twin axes they will come in handy for Crydee me send them to her and maybe ask her to have an ale.[/p][p]Entery 111[/p][p]me sent axes and note to Crydee me hope she say yes While I have time me go see Yvet, Cith and Onns. Wisp is right he is getting so big. Cj have Cith recruiting on the island of the overlord so he not gone to much or in to much danger make sure he can help Yvet with Onns. Yvet get to come out and help with the new members. Broudy showed up for a while but he in bad way we to busy with work order and he left before we get to talk. No one knows where he stay right now maybe me get to talk before we get to busy in field. Next time me make sure no like to see Broudy like that.[/p][p]Entery 112[/p][p]Yes Crydee she have an ale with me.Me take her to WF inn where Yvet and Cith live have good food and not many other ogers. She still not say much she just looks at me like wisp when she study book. Me like her eyes they shine like stars. We bout half way through food when she get a summons and had to leave me hope it not bad news. Me spend time with dancing girl but some how not the same.[/p][p]Entery 113[/p][p]Me go by see Onns today he almost ready to start walking then me start his training teach how to move feet to keep balance. Yvet was acting funny so me ask her what was wrong. She said that she had wound on her face from the day she help with the youngeons and Broady was with us. Me look but no could see anything. "that the problem" she say Onns saw the sore and climbed into her lap and said love and touched it and it was healed." what is Cith going to say. What would you say she ask......me not sure me thought that son should be like father...hard for me to know me not have parents me raised in tribe. Everyone make there own way and everyone responsible for tribe. [/p][p]Entery 114[/p][p]Today me ran into Cj in big bend he was meeting Kelas. Kelas showed up and ask to speak to Cj in private. Cj not agree to speak in private. He really surprise me he said that me take over for him and be new clan master that Kelas need talk in front of me Me help Cj when he is gone but me had no idea that this is what Cj had in mind me think Cith or Cepa be better choice but he say no he chose me and there be no discussion. Kelas said fine but could we not talking the town square but Cj testing Kelas and said no just speak. Make Kelas mad he going to leave and not talk to CJ. Cj told me go after him and make him come back. Me get him to come back not easy he has much pride like Cith. Me offer my room and some ale get them inside. Kelas wonted ask Cj permission to court Curah. He closest thing she have to a father.....some kind of honorable tradition. He asked for a task to perform to show he worthy to take Curah as a wife. Cj said he and Curah need do the Axe from the past quest together add status to the guild. He not real happy but he took it Me think it not what he had in mind......Cj not know his honorable traditions. Or if he did Cj has other ideas.[/p][p] [/p]

Entery 115
Me coming back from Cl and helping Lucella with Hq called light bringer and Kelas was on his way to work on it.....Cj has commissioned everyone in guild to do this. So me go and help him. He was a little distracted and quite when we get back to town me ask him what was trouble he still mad at Cj No he have problem with his pride he not have any money and not sure he should continue he not honored his family by wanting to take wife before he could provide for her. Maybe he should just leave he no good to clan or Curah he not able take care of self. He sounds like Cith when he cast off his weapons and hid away. "Barbarian pride much trouble". me told him bout Cith and how much he like him. Me help him see that some times the pride get in way. Me really like him. Curah nothing like him she have hard life she good bud go to pub with drink..... arm-wrestle tell...... stories me hope they be ok together.
Entery 116
Today special me Cith and Yvet get to work together for first time in a while we go to Stepps and finish some work orders (q's) Was great to be together again. Ctih made it a little tense he was very proud of weapon he got for Onns Yvet not tell him yet bout the healing. It made day interesting fighting and trying to drop hints to Cith bout Onns He finally got it and he and Yvet talk it over .Me still going to train him even if he is going to be a healer
Entery 117
Got word to day from the island of the over lord. Ceyogio has recruited four new members for the guild Cj pleased so he let him come to Freeport with them that still leave one more recruiter on island for the guild. We growing and there is much work getting the youngeons outfitted and trained up. We now have 25 members. Clan is getting to be known some what. Shepa all excited she was going to mail box and someone stopped her and slipped her a small bag of coin and said she good cook ... Me glad for her she work hard.
Entery118
Been almost a month since I lay eyes on Crydee. Not know if I see her again or not She seemed odd. not make it to clam meeting always having to leave when I would try to talk to her. She not say much bout her self but did ask question bout Cj and clan. Cida suppositious of her I still think she have pretty eyes.
Entery 119
poor Citheec today we take Onns out try to teach him some sword exercises......not good he try do a round house and would let go the sword ended up in bushes.....then one time Cith cut finger trying to show him something and he healed it ...Cith try to get him not bother it just a little cut to be a warrior one must take pain and wounds to win fights....he have fit till he could fix it.
Entery 120
Toda Cith presented Onns a hammer that he had me make for him it is the weapon of a priest. Onns was so pleased that we had recognized the path that he must walk. We had a good time feasting and drinking It may be hard for him most of his training has been for a front line fighter and he does not have the patients for further training he seeks to join ceyogio and the new recruits in the field soon.
Entery 121
today I need council kelus he was dismissed by his trainer of the ebony cloak It hit him very hard. Cj thinks that it has to do with a possible traitor in the clan. His dismissal came just as we was asked to look into a possible treat to cj only a clan member would of know of this. In truth it was to kelus good that this happened. He has far to much honor to be a successful assassin
Entery 122
Kelus is excelling as a guardian and has totally swept curha away. Today we recived word that wisp and lucella have left for parts un known to try and find wisp true father. Curah and all of us will miss her. Time no stand still and the young ones grow up and move on. So it is with Onns he has joined ceyogio and the others. He begins to make his own mark with in the clan.
Entery 123
Today Kelus ,Curha and Cida head out for the thundering stepps that is all the more Cj will say he has put out word that Kelus have been tossed out of clan for his failure as an assassin Curha went with him. It has also been said that Cejogga has learned to disguise himself as Cida. There is something going on but with the fear of a traitor cj not say much to anyone. Me wish I be more help to Cj.

[p] [/p][p]Entery 124[/p][p] It finally over Kelus and Cida uncovered the traitor and disposed of her it was loona it so hard to believe but she betrade Cj she fell in with a troll the troll believed that she was Cejogga's daughter The troll had been fallowing the guild since it was first posted She was the one who had started the rumors of the centaurs and had hired an assassin to go after Cj. She believed that Cj was her father That he disgraced her mother and removed her from her place of power with in their tribe. It was her hope to use the centaurs to hide her plot Then she met loona and got her to tell of Cj asking Kelus to check into the centaurs That's when she had him dismissed by his trainer to give her assassin a chance. Kelus and Cida were able to chase down the conflicting clues and find the assassin and learn that loona was the traitor giving information to this troll This female troll was so angry and desperate when her plan failed that she kidnapped Curha to draw Cejogga to her. Cjogga try to tell her the truth about him and her mother but she have so many years of hate that she not listen She attacked him She not hate anymore she dead now Kelus found Curha and rescue her in short order. The ogre that held her had no chance at all against Kelus Such is the way of things in Freeport. Cejogga and the clan have prospered this brings troubles. It good that Kelus was there to help.[/p][p]Entery 125[/p][p]Time moves on and it bring change and not always good. Me went to the ferrot today to work on a HQ with Yvet. It been some time sense we were together As we were in battle her cloak fell from her shoulder and I saw that she had change her clan insignia. She had removed her married name and gone back to her old name. I pointed to it and she said not now Z lets just do battle and turn from me. Me was so disturbed I could not continue. Then fine I go on with out you and she run off.[/p][p]Entery 126[/p][p]Me seek out Citheec to learn what was going on. Found him in the Stepps. He very angry and sad. He came home from one of his many long trips and the inn keeper would not let him in he said he no live there any more. He not know what happened for sure he say that they grew apart. That she always wanting fancy stuff...wonted to move to the expensive part of north Freeport. She got more difficult once Onn left home I say I talk to her but he made me swear to leave it alone.[/p][p]Entery 127[/p][p]Me get letter from Yvet today. It say not to be sad that just as Onns had grown up to be his own man and not stay a baby so do all of us. She say even I had grown and changed since first we meet. She say she will always have feeling for Cith but it was time to move on to other things. She still have feelings for me but it was time for her to seek out her OWN fortune. She wonted a new life????? I balled it and throw it down[/p][p]Kitt and katt played with it like a mouse.[/p][p]Entery 128[/p][p]Today there was announcement sent to the guild that Yevt had left for parts un known, with the blessing of the clan master...............Me stare at the message the words swirled and danced on the page...........I remember the first day I saw Yvet. I try to refocus my eyes as the tears feel on the paper and I ripped it to pieces. A wind rustled the hanging on my wall behind the bed. Onn look after her...I shook my fist at the hanging.....remember she is your chosen one[/p][p]Entery 129[/p][p]Cepa came to me today with a writ to bring great status to the guild It is in Lavastorm a challenging place. We will have to battle much to gather all the things required for this writ. We will need to seek others to help with this[/p][p]Entery 130[/p][p]We got most of the first part done with much effort. We need to gather the banners from the independent tribes Of lavastorm there were a secret message contain in them To finish we got help from Ponder and old time friend from the Children of tao. Fight as well as me and Cepa did there would just be to many of them or some of the unfriendly critters would be drawn into the fray. Me wonder bout Cepa and his casting some times.[/p][p]Entery 131[/p][p]It took several days to find all the banners but we final were able to turn them to the mystic that had sent us on this HQ. Me look at Cepa and shake my head these is going to be a long adventuer. He slaps me on back and said what better you got to do Kitt and Katt they hunt there own food. The mystic expect us to learn a langue we need travel all over Norath and find these temples that will impart bits and pieces of the langue to us. Me not so sure bout finding these.....put hands on them and recite words so it can magically give me understanding of langue??? And why it take so many to learn from why not just one. Ponder say where my sense of adventure. [/p][p]Entery 132[/p][p]Today we off to Neck to find shrine me just hope it no in the woods with all the spiders. Me never have liked spiders, not since the encounter with Oblas messenger Yvet gone now but I still no like spiders time not always change things WE found the shrine and me touch it say the words...it so strange me here a soft voice and I understood some of the words but not all ...it a sweet voice. Me still not sure bout this Mika the goddess that bring magic to my tribe she a trickster. Even her followers was weary of her. [/p][p] Entery 133[/p][p]Found the second shrine it in the thundering stepps This time it was a deep male voice who spoke the words. Me not like all this woodo voodoo stuff. Onnsboon he just laughs at me. I teach him how to fight he try to teach me to understand the invoking of spells He say you make prayers Me tell him I respect casters but I would rather connect flesh to flesh or weapon to flesh.Each has there own path to walk. How those words have a sting to them. I miss Yvet.[/p][p]Entery 134[/p][p]Now for the final shrine it in Everfrost. This place is quite the challenge. Kelus came from here. I liked him. I made some inquires tried to find his family, now I wish I had not. His father was not kind, he only see me on behave of his wife, kelus mother. He was not pleased at kelus for having changed his profession. He say it the fault of the clan and "that women". His son had made a choice when he left home and should of fallowed it through. It was a few days latter that Kelus mom came to me to tell me that they had received word that Kelus was dead. The sadness in my hart made it harder to finish the task at hand.[/p]

Entery 135
We finally finish with the shrines so now it back to Lavastorm to find poems in the language that the shrines has taught us.It will be some time before we return home so me sent a letter to Curha telling her of what kelus mother had shared with me. Me hope she not become to embittered Wisp had left to fallow leads on her real father and now this.
Entery 136
Book me hero today. We got a small party of adventures together and set out to find more of the poems. They scattered all over the place. We going up through a small pass and a mob of gremlins give chase so me get them to fallow me right off the bridge into hot lava they so stupid they all fell in right behind me. The group pull me out I need sleep some to recover but at least party no have to fight that large mob.
Entery 137
Me miss Yvet and times past. It seams that life has become dull of late. Onns has found a group of adventures his age to travel with. Cith is not quite the same anymore. It hard to get him out he spends long day in the craft center alone. Me and Cepa try get him to join us in lavastorm.
Entery 138
Got letter back from Curha today she thank me for the words. She very sad cause Kelus not let her go with him the last time he went out to adventure. She thinks he may have had a feeling that he not return.
She say CJ help her a lot she wonted to set out to find him. It would not of been a good idea.
Entery 139
Today me and Cepa head back to Big Bend it time to take a rest. I need see Kitt and katt maybe go check on Chura and see what Cith is up 2. Me and him still have a quest for nightbloods ... Maybe I can get him to go with me Cj say he in better spirits lately.
Entery 140
Made it home Kitt and Katt glad to see me. Me and Cith went to the Inn and killed a keg each. It had been a long time since we do that. We have good time talking over some of the times we had in Neck castle. I think he is on the mend we made plans to finish our writ for the nightbloods.Me almost fall over Katt coming in the door that night.Me stumbled on to the bed and fell into a deep sleep. Book there are no more pages you are full must be time to put you on the shelve I will visit you often and will find another book to keep you company me change your name to book one thank you book keep safe my youth
Zudre

Entery 135
We finally finish with the shrines so now it back to Lavastorm to find poems in the language that the shrines has taught us.It will be some time before we return home so me sent a letter to Curha telling her of what kelus mother had shared with me. Me hope she not become to embittered Wisp had left to fallow leads on her real father and now this.
Entery 136
Book me hero today. We got a small party of adventures together and set out to find more of the poems. They scattered all over the place. We going up through a small pass and a mob of gremlins give chase so me get them to fallow me right off the bridge into hot lava they so stupid they all fell in right behind me. The group pull me out I need sleep some to recover but at least party no have to fight that large mob.
Entery 137
Me miss Yvet and times past. It seams that life has become dull of late. Onns has found a group of adventures his age to travel with. Cith is not quite the same anymore. It hard to get him out he spends long day in the craft center alone. Me and Cepa try get him to join us in lavastorm.
Entery 138
Got letter back from Curha today she thank me for the words. She very sad cause Kelus not let her go with him the last time he went out to adventure. She thinks he may have had a feeling that he not return.
She say CJ help her a lot she wonted to set out to find him. It would not of been a good idea.
Entery 139
Today me and Cepa head back to Big Bend it time to take a rest. I need see Kitt and katt maybe go check on Chura and see what Cith is up 2. Me and him still have a quest for nightbloods ... Maybe I can get him to go with me Cj say he in better spirits lately.
Entery 140
Made it home Kitt and Katt glad to see me. Me and Cith went to the Inn and killed a keg each. It had been a long time since we do that. We have good time talking over some of the times we had in Neck castle. I think he is on the mend we made plans to finish our writ for the nightbloods.Me almost fall over Katt coming in the door that night.Me stumbled on to the bed and fell into a deep sleep. Book there are no more pages you are full must be time to put you on the shelve I will visit you often and will find another book to keep you company me change your name to book one thank you book keep safe my youth
Zudre