I been playing on Yelinak for some time as a BL. Im 65 now and the pet situation is horrible, my pet dies constantly and sometimes dies instantly on bosses... The power between mage pet vs bl pet is to big a gap
Perhaps you're playing your beastlord the worng way. Bestlords at level 65 are pulling ahead of most of the classes with very little equipment or raid gear. Just don't forget to gear up your Focused warder with summoned armor.
BST pets were never meant to be as powerful as mage pets... slow is the big leveller. At lvl 65, yes bst pets suck, but they do get better, much much better as the expansions unlock. During POP, think of the bst pet as additional dps (kind of like a sk or necro pet), not a tank. it's also handy to use wards like calliev to absorb random hits/riposts/rampage on raid bosses, and hot key your pet heals The pet AA's also make a difference. bsts were pretty to start with, but become very strong.
i remember having to hide my pet around corners on certain raids when we were in the 65-70 stretch of eq. Always had and still have salve up as well, and starting always with aa rune on pet too. Then still he died sometimes at raids, but at least i tried. your warder is part of your class though and you also get skills where you need to have your pet up in order for them to activate. You just gotta learn what he can and cannot take. Now on live, if it was able, my pet would be the last one standing on raid wipes.
Beastlords suffer massively until somewhere around 85. Our pet sucks we suck, our spells suck. Soldier through and then we become very powerful. From 85 on when we get the protection line of spells for the warder you will be able to tank just about anything with the warder. Not that any of this helps you now.
It was at VoA that my pet started tanking more than me. From 1 - 93ish though, it was just me grinding it out on weak and LB mobs.
^ This. The pacing and growth of Beastlords throughout the levels and expansions is extremely uneven. Gates of Discord was a low point. Things got a tiny bit better at level 70. But your warder was still mostly a DoT. You're generally much sturdier than your pet until ~80-85. But things do change. Around 85+, your warder becomes a tanking powerhouse. Just gotta hang in there.
BST is fine until 85 but the pet is much to weak in tanking below lvl 80. I think that it was not meant to be a tank during those expansions. Do not forget that the BST is a SHM-MNK hybrid so the template for the warder was the weak shaman pet for a long time. Don't let it tank until lvl 80, see above. It can be only an emergency tank or offtank until then. So turn the "taunt" function off and activate hold or ghold.
If your pet is dying right away on boss fights then it's your fault, not the pet. Turn off taunt, let the tank build up some aggro, attack from behind. The LDoN spell, Protection of Calliav (and it's upgrades later) helps a lot too. For some fights, like ones with big AoE damage, you may need to suspend your pet. In in a raid context the pet is a tiny portion of the DPS anyway. For group content the pet does just fine off-tanking an add if there is no CC available. I'm on Yelinak so i cannot yet speak to how BST performs in Gates or beyond. I'm told BST just keep getting better with the addition of more pet and proc related AAs.
Keep in mind that starting with PoP, mobs were given a massive power increase. No one tanks the mobs well. Eventually, in higher expansions, the mobs mellow out and aren't as difficult to tank. I couldn't tell you what expansion that started. Maybe DoN?