People you always see in PS2 but wish you didnt! (Humour)

Mr. Important - The guy who gets in your way, as you are firing on a position from an established point (firing from cover, etc) who just has to fire to get the kill, while you nail him in the *** or the back of the head.

Mr. Important learns really fast that he is not that important. I don't stop firing.

Mr. late to the party - you and your squad are capping base after base, constatly meeting the same enemies. youre in your ESF popping heads/doing tricks out of boredom/ harrassing that friendly LA, when suddenly someone shouts in squadvoicechat ''SORRY IM LATE GUYS'' and crashes his ESF into yours

/BUMP

don't die awesome thread

I will admit to being guilty of this this one.

Mr. I can make the turn.
That Sunderer has a wider turn radius than you think. And even though you are desperately trying to make it tighter you run over three of your team.

Coincidentally I apologize to those three engineers and their turrets.

Glad to see this thread is still running, its good to come here for a laugh!

'That Guy at the Front'
We have all shouted at our screen no doubt for this guy..... to MOVE!!!
The zerg is rolling, you've liberated the base from the enemy, and you're moving up the ravine, one giant armoured coloumn of awesome a mile long. You're in the middle of the pack, half way up the ravine, then its all red brake lights as everyone grinds to a halt. That Guy at the Front has made contact with the enemy and is proceeding to fire shot after shot. The trouble is our friends tank is different to everyone else's in that it only has a MOVE FORWARD or a STOP AND SHOOT setting. Its impossible for his tank to move AND shoot.

So the Zerg halts. In the ravine. In the valley. With guns that cant point to the top as they don't have the fire arc. Y'all know what happens next, its not pretty....

mr. proskill: kils you once and spams v6 (taunt) five or six times. He is roumored to be one of those ex crown zerg wariors who is glad his KD ratio is above 0.4

The gung-ho-Insta-death-Spawn-Guy:

The "Hey! My jetpack won't work!" Guy
You're at a tower, when you see this guy run off the air pad, onto a capture point. Presumably, he's going to use his jetpack to land safely, then slaughter the enemies taking the point. Unfortunatly, he's an infiltrator.

Mr. I need my tank NOW!

You're defending a tech plant in your tank and are forced to retreat into the vehicles spawn bay, but you see that the other pad is clear so you get out and repair. This guy comes and spawns a tank on top of you instead of on the other platform and instakills you...

Mr. Splash-Damage.
The person that manages to shoot a rocket just close enough to you to set off that Mine or C4 that you just threw down... killing you instantly in the process.

Empty Galaxy Man.
Man that is one good pilot, look at him evade ESFs and Obstacles as he flies that galaxy like a pro Right to the perfect landing zone!
too bad his galaxy reads (1/12).

Must touch the pretty thing - this individual will always be gravitated to anything you are trying to keep suppressed. Team of VS heavies using the lasher at a biolab to prevent a max crash, hes gotta put his prox mines right in the door. Group of heavies firing rockets at a door, he stands right in front of them. Group of engies with all their turrets pointed at a door, he has to run right in front of all of them. Will later come back and try to tk the suppression team for killing him during his masterful plan of running into a firing line.

The Road Runner.

Armor column is moving to next base, 20 MBTS, 10 Lightnings, afew sunderers and a hand full of flash's. The Road Runner manages to get in everyone ways, running straight down the middle of the road some 500 meters to the objective. Most of the drivers try their best to not hit this poor soul, untill someone looks away for 2 seconds, or the road runner decides to randomly dart left instead of keeping straight. You hit him causing a tk, you curse at roadrunner in your head "stay off the road you silly person". 30 seconds to a minute later you see in /yell that mr.roadrunner wasnt happy about that. " OF THE 8 DEATHS I HAVE RECIEVED 8 OF THEM HAVE BEEN TK'S L2DRIVE (insertfactionhere)

or he whispers you in rage.

RIP road runner....RIP

Mr. I Know Best.

When you are spawning in on an assault, and the opposition has the middle ground, and your watching the hordes run at them from the low ground, and you shout that everyone should be running up the giant hill right next to you to get to the highest ground, he loudly says, "Shut up kid." And your not a teenager. When you take a Lasher up the hill yourself and rapidly wipe out most of the enemy shooting down the killzone, instantly

Mr. How Am I An Idiot?

You are an explosives expert. You have 7 Decimator rockets, 1 AV Grenade, and 2 C4 (Or your one of those criminally insane "How many explosives can you carry in one load" types like me). You are hiding behind cover and you watch a 2/2 tank sit on the road in front of you and take an AFK. You comm it in and say you'll handle it. You sneak up to 5 feet behind the tank, seconds from blowing the tank to kingdom come. From behind you hear someone shout, "Don't fire!" right before, you guessed it, opens fire with his rifle or vehicle mounted machine gun. Not a piece of dedicated high powered AV weaponry. The top gunner instantly turns around and turns you to red mist, and a few seconds later, you hear a large variety of explosions before the tank is hastily brought down upon your failure. When you shout out at the guy, he hastily explains that he was just, "firing on the tank" he then asks why you just called him on his namesake.

Very relatable. Nice post.

*burst out laughing and clapping hands* T.R specific one please!

The "What's A Squad?"

Auto joins a squad that's fighting together (this is, incidentally, a rare occurrence in random squads, on Cobalt at least). Arrives at the squad's location. Spawns a Sundy. Drives off in it 1/12 right in front of half the squad, despite yells in Squad, Whispers, and gunfire.

The Heavy Breather

That one guy who's either leaning on the Proximity Voice hotkey, or has it set to Voice-Activated and just breathes into their mic. Doesn't seem to realize that Proximity Voice turns down the game sound for everyone within 5 metres. Is standing in a crowded base.

Crown Camper - Camps The Crown.

Sounds like a hot monday afternoon at Indar Excavation with the A.C cranked up and radio channel tuned in.... it's better whe there's **** all enemy activity, everyone can afford to be lazy .

Mr Poor Sod - Mr Poor Sod can be found in any army , in any outfit at any time, he's the fellow that busts his legs to get to the nearest fight, winds up with no resources, tank-mined, ambushed, knifed, head-shotted in friendly territory. He is the soldier who wishes that prone exists so he could just kiss the dirt as a million tracer rounds tries to bite his poor infantry ***. You ask why doesn't drive a tank, too many tanks always. Why not fly, actually doesn't have the resources. So Mr Poor Sod foot-stomps to the next battlefield, but hey at least he doesn't have to worry about crazy drivers while on the side of the road... oh ****.

Mr Gives up On the World - This armchair general has felt his youth drain from his body in a manner of hours rather years, the constant barrage of enemy fire and death is taking their toll on him, he can start drinking, he can start blabbering; sooner or later he will utter those evil words that
"HEY GUYS , LET'S JUST CAMP THE CROWN!" , **** -.-..... well he held out longer this time.

MAD WOLF - Like a rabid animal, they can explode at any moment, one wrong move, one mistake, the full fury of their feral rage will hit you. Why? no one knows.... there is only Nerd Rage behind that silent face.

Positive ones
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The Happy Medic - he will be there with an undertaker's smile, and chirp in his type; he will giggle and banter with you with his level 6 Revive gun, you know you're in capable hands with a man who chats gossips at long range shooting.

The Propagandist - He will spam the yell channel, but yet have nothing wrong to say, everything said makes you giggle and slap your knee. After a day long of defeats that bloke who cracks the jokes is an asset for all.

Grandad - He's soft spoken, a bit harsh to any new player, a old stickler for the rules of an outfit. But that bastard will lay down his life so that you don't **** up big time, he knows the tricks of the trade, and the roadmap of how things work in this world. Any FNG needs to stick to this bloke like glue.

The Gentleman pilot - A romantic or debonair, loves the art of flying rather than the violence, he'll flame you up , but at least give you the opportunity to land or bail, these men are rare.

Lucky Charm - You never see them die, they must be lucky, you feel lucky around them, and miss them when they're offline, you hope their luck will rub off on you sometime.

Mr. Big Mouth - you and a few buds are capping some territory, when you see a base being capped by 1-12 enemies. you arive just too late to defend, and take the point back. sitting in the corner of the cp room you find the enemy. you keep staring at him, waiting for the moment he'll regain digital conciousness again only to pop him in the head. the remaining cap time he continues to stay in spawn whilst youre chilling on the side of the base, yelling at how you and your buds are bad, and should L2P, that he's way better, etc. you respond in asking a 1v1 against him, but he says youre not worth it. eventually he dies from the painfield when the base caps.
like a captain who never leaves his sinking ship