Quinnocent

We were tankers once, and good. Either that or Planetfarmville scrubs who conflated vehicle ****ery with skill. 50+ solo streaks? Many times over. 100+ me+gunner streaks? Kinda the norm. Ego much? **** yeah. And I paid it forward. I posted ridiculously long theory posts filled with numbers and tables, to help illuminate my savage tank brethren. STK's and TTK's and weapon breakdowns and maneuvers and countermaneuvers. Not that anybody read any of those posts. That's probably because PS2 tankers are almost universally whiny bastards who think their rolling deathbox-inflated KD makes them balance experts on how everything that counters their pet toy is OP. I am a self-hating armor traitor who drank deep of the cup of tank.

Then the unthinkable happened.

I stopped giving a **** about Magriders.

I don't know when it happened, or why. It just did. Oh, and I coincidentally raged and had customer service delete my account. "But that never happened, Quinn! Why would somebody delete an account with about $300 poured into it!" Because they wouldn't do what I asked, and I'M A BRILLIANT PERSON WHO FREQUENTLY MAKES GOOD DECISIONS WHEN I DON'T GET WHAT I WANT.

But it was good. I needed a break. In fact, it was for the best. Because I came back and heard that Therum, that ******* homewrecker, tore our family apart. Outfit divorce. G-*******-G. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY. THAT OUTFIT WAS THE ONLY FAMILY I HAD. NOW WHOSE ******* TACTICAL SQUADS WILL I PROVIDE SUBPAR ENGINEER SUPPORT FOR.

Me: ooo, shiny enemy sundy! *wanders off* . . .
Me: *two minutes later* Sundy splashed!
*silence*
THEY DIED TO AIR BECAUSE I WASN'T THERE TO DROP AMMO FOR THEIR LAUNCHERS
OH GOD WHY
**** ME TO DEATH

Now I snipe people with the useless ******* Phaseshift. I bait heavies, light assaults, and tanks up close, only to use my expert RunAway skills. Usually, I live. I wander around trying to climb **** because **** my ******* score-per-hour. Why? Because **** you, mountain. Eat me.

That's how we roll in Quinntown. Uphill, *****.