Here are some jokes, add to the thread if you wish: (Found carved into a stone wall in Kaladim) Oakram's Laser: All other things being equal, the simplest solution is Ale! Human: Hey elf, you look like a girl! Elf: To a human, everything must look like a girl. Human: What? Elf: Half elves, half orcs... Human: Hey! Dwarf: Half dragons, Half trolls... Human: Stop it! Elf: ... Centaurs. An orc, an elf, and a dwarf find themselves being granted wishes by an Efreeti. The orc says, "We orcs need to return to power. I wish all the orcs and half-orcs were returned to their ancient lands." The Efreeti nods his head, and the orc vanishes. The elf says, "The elves need to get back to their roots. I wish all the elves and half-elves were returned to their ancestral home." The Efreeti nods his head, and the elf vanishes. The dwarf looks around. "Let me get this straight," the dwarf says, "the orc wished for all the orcs to be gone, and the elf wished for all the elves to be gone?" The Efreeti nods. "Very well, then," said the dwarf, "I'll have an ale." Went to the secret police in Neriak and reported my missing parrot, when told to report it to the city guards, i responded "I just wanted you to know that i dont agree with a single thing my parrot has to say" What's the difference between an onion and an dwarf? You cry when you cut an onion. A: What's the difference between stomping on a gnome and stomping on grapes? B: You take off your boots before you stomp on the grapes. A bard who specializes in ventrioloquism is performing in a tavern, doing several jokes about how dumb sarnaks are. A very large, very mean-looking sarnak in the back of the room stands up and growls, "I'm sick of everyone making fun of sarnaks and saying we're stupid." The bard begins to apologize for offending sarnak. The sarnak says, "Sir, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the little smart-*** sitting in your lap." Q: How do you get a chord from half-elf bards? A: Ask three of them to play the same note. •Two orc are sitting in the woods eating lunch. One says "Man, i hate my wife" and the other one says "Then just eat the salad". Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Being eaten by a dragon.