Lockjaw: Pre-Mediation Crib Sheet For People With Itchy Trigger Fingers

Discussion in 'Time Locked Progression Servers' started by Croak, Sep 5, 2015.

  1. Darth Augur

    I actually didn't make the original rotation. The original 3 guild rotation lacked tons of things that came up as it went.

    The rotation we have now is basically the greatest rotation a server has ever seen.

    • 24 entire hours to kill your mob once it spawns? You're welcome.
    • Kill a super easy target to get on the rotation? You're welcome.
    • Get an entire day in Sky? You're welcome.
    • Tiered rotation so you can advance and look forward to unlocking new things? You're welcome.
    • Awesome color coded google document to help you find your next approved target? You're welcome.
    • An entire page of rules and regulations that govern how YOU can play the game? You're welcome!
    Have you ever wanted to know down to the last minute (in PDT military time) when a target died? We have that!

    Have you ever pondered, "Gee I wonder what guild killed that last target?" Now you know with our futuristic guild abbreviation system! FI, MM, MIM, TFM, DHS, the list goes on!

    See the greatest names on Lockjaw splashed all over the document letting you know exactly who cares. Names like Dupre, Yukan, Gremin, Yawg (not even a real name) Dima (Not even the name of a main) and of course the Hero of the People Darth!

    Ever wanted to know which guild is the most evil? Or the most disgusting? Just look at the color codes, Ascended Darkness, Evil Black. Modest Man, Puke Green! Magicus Imperium Magus, Fire Engine Red, cause they put the fires out yo! Faceless Insanity, Cool Blue, cause sky's the limit bro!

    Know which guilds qualified, which didn't. Know instantly which guilds have read the rules and signed them!

    Thousands of man hours, that could have been used in game to get pixels instead slung into google documents.

    Attend meetings in teamspeak, mumble, and ventrilo. Dozens of hours wasted listening to some of the greatest voices of our generation! Get recorded and quoted out of context! Backstabbing, politics, Lockjaw Rotations are the Game of Thrones of Everquest! And most importantly NO GIRLS ALLOWED!

    Spend more time on the forums, in meetings, and updating documents then actually playing the game!

    Receive thousands of tells, private messages and emails!

    Be accused of having WMD, "Hey Iraq I know how you feel now bro!"

    All this and more could be yours if you just accept your place in the Lockjaw, DBG Enforced, Approved, Stickied, and Mandated Rotation!

    If you have additional questions or concerns please refer to the stickied posts about rotations found here at www.everquest.com follow the links to forums, read the topics with thousands of pages. Make sure to LIKE Chris_the_Mage's picture and gif posts cause the're the bomb-diggity.

    Surf the drama as hundreds nay millions of accounts were suspended for breaking the rotation.

    All of this when you choose to play The Game of RotationQuest!
  2. Porygon Augur

    Literally the single best post in the history of any video game forum.
    lockjaws, Mayfaire and Simone like this.
  3. Simone Augur

    Darth, that was comedy gold. I was laughing so hard that I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Good work, good work.

    I think the best line of all was:

    Seriously, great post. You also saved this thread being a complete and total waste of space! Bonus.
    Mayfaire likes this.
  4. Beastro Augur

    Modernized = dumbed down and .

    So busy shoving content and loot into your face the players burn out too quickly.
  5. Mayfaire Augur


    And to think I was going to click like....:mad:

    I keed, pretty good stuff there. Just fix that no girls issue and you'll hit a homer.:p

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