Lets address the elephant in the room with Bards.

Discussion in 'Hybrid' started by UnknownWar83, Jun 29, 2022.

  1. UnknownWar83 New Member

    Halflings need to be added to the list of races that can be a bard. Even starting in Classic. Thank you.
    minimind likes this.
  2. Alnitak Augur

    Halflings are known for Second and Third breakfasts, not for their artistic skills. They should get a bonus in Baking and Brewing, not Singing.
    Nennius likes this.
  3. Nennius Curmudgeon

    I am tempted to agree that halflings ought to try and become bards. As I understand it, bards are known to run quickly at times. This increase in their foot speed would make hunting them for food even more fun. And I am all in for fun.
  4. Razorfall Augur

    I thought the elephant in the room was that we don't get an AA illusion for elephants
  5. Skuz I am become Wrath, the Destroyer of Worlds.

    The only thing Halflings need to be is dead, preferably after much violence, or after a close encounter with a blow-torch & BBQ sauce.

    Failing that "in a sandwich" will suffice.

    Allowing Halflings to sing should be punished by cleaning Orc Latrine pits while they are still in active use.
  6. Svann2 The Magnificent

    Hobbits are just next to halflings and here is a bardly performance that Frodo gave that I quite like:
    Frodo's Song in Bree
    There is an inn, a merry old inn,
    beneath an old grey hill,
    And there they brew a beer so brown
    That the Man in the Moon himself came down
    one night to drink his fill.

    The ostler has a tipsy cat
    that plays a five-stringed fiddle;
    And up and down he runs his bow,
    Now squeaking high, now purring low,
    now sawing in the middle.

    The landlord keeps a little dog
    that is mighty fond of jokes;
    When there's good cheer among the guests,
    He c ocks an ear at all the jests
    and laughs until he chokes.

    They also keep a horned cow
    as proud as any queen;
    But music turns her head like ale,
    And makes her wave her tufted tail
    and dance upon the green.

    And O! the row of silver dishes
    and the store of silver spoons!
    For Sunday there's a special pair,
    And these they polish up with care
    on Saturday afternoons.

    The Man in the Moon was drinking deep,
    and the cat began to wail;
    A dish and a spoon on the table danced,
    The cow in the garden madly pranced,
    and the little dog chased his tail.

    The Man in the Moon took another mug,
    and then rolled beneath his chair;
    And there he dozed and dreamed of ale,
    Till in the sky the stars were pale,
    and dawn was in the air.

    Then the ostler said to his tipsy cat:
    'The white horses of the Moon,
    They neigh and champ their silver bits;
    But their master's been and drowned his wits,
    and the Sun'll be rising soon!'

    So the cat on the fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,
    a jig that would wake the dead;
    He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,
    While the landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
    'It's after three!' he said.

    They rolled the Man slowly up the hill
    and bundled him into the Moon,
    While his horses galloped up in rear,
    And the cow came capering like a deer,
    and a dish ran up with the spoon.

    Now quicker the fiddle went deedle-dum-diddle;
    the dog began to roar,
    The cow and the horses stood on their heads;
    The guests all bounded from their beds
    and danced upon the floor.

    With a ping and a pang the fiddle-strings broke!
    the cow jumped over the Moon,
    And the little dog laughed to see such fun,
    And the Saturday dish went off at a run
    with the silver Sunday spoon.

    The round Moon rolled behind the hill,
    as the Sun raised up her head.
    She hardly believed her fiery eyes;
    For though it was day, to her surprise
    they all went back to bed.

    credit to Tolkein - Lord of the Rings
    Airguitar and Wulfhere like this.