Selo is fast, but there are some guilds doing their own thing and there are absolutely casuals there. There are two guilds that try to farm semi-hardcore, but there are more options for those with a more casual approach. Even then, I'm not sure any guilds have strict attendance policies -- TLP just don't allow that with how attrition works. Major is a guild that I know goes a bit slow, and Modus Gelidus "Chill Mode" is a semi--self-progression style guild that allows you to take your time a lot more. I've seen some leveling guilds lately too and I'm sure they do old raid content. It's counter-intuitive, but the super fast exp and DZ timers are very casual friendly. You can hit something like POF minis with a group of friends and be sufficiently geared to raid in 2 weeks super casually. And then it won't be long before you take your 1 to 1.5 group of friends and knock out Qvic goats for amazing, easy gear. DZ's galore. A casual's best friend.
I think in terms of amount of raid time per week mine is the most "casual" and we keep up, maybe at most are a couple weeks behind in current content. Cleared Anguish right before DoN release for example and only raid 8 hours a week. Yes, I'm boasting a bit but more importantly just saying that raiding 8 hours a week and still seeing top end stuff proves selo isn't as "hard" as people make it out to be to keep up.
I was playing an enchanter and I stopped simply due to the changes in charm. The CC is still important even in current content (or at least in OOW where i stopped). Go at your own pace so you don't burn out. Find a guild with some people that may be leveling some alts. When you get max level, you can grab a few AAs and jump in a raid or two. I don't know anyone who says no to additional MGBs or damage as long as you are good at your class and listen. I was just leveling up about a month into the server and jumped into Circulus Interiorem (CI) just to have some people to chat and level with. Content wise, we don't really rush through and push to clear an expansion in the first few hours of release, but we've been finishing each before the next comes out. That works for me. I find raiding 2 days a week works out pretty good. Do you get everything you could possibly want from every expansion? Nah. But pretty close and better gear is waiting next month to fill those missing slots. Honestly this method was the hardest to get use to. Look for the exp holidays and try to catch people leveling alts or use that time to get a ton of AAs.
Nothing personal, I don't know you from Adam but you've listed your specific problem already. Plenty of people hve multiple toons but unfortunately you're playstle/playtime don't work on this server. The server - the way it stands - is great for someone with playtime and desire to keep up. Raiders can get enough of an expansion in a month and people who want to move slower can do so with like minded players. There are guilds that specifically keep themselves in the content they decide as a group to stay in. Perhaps one of those guilds would work for you. People who want to keep up with content and the rest of the people with lots of playtime, have TO HAVE lots of playtime themselves. Also - one trap many people fall into is trying to do all the quests and get items and upgrades from every expansion. It's not practical and not necessary ESPECIALLY if you have low playtime. You can probably make this server work but not with your old outlook. Or, at least not in keeping up with all the people who burn through AAs and content and get into farm mode quickly. Hopefully yo find a way to have fun.
I am actually having fun on the server, it is just more of wishing things were different. To be honest, I think what I really want is just a new, fresh game, with an influx of new players and a strong community. Pantheon needs to hurry up and release.
