RACISM!

Discussion in 'The Veterans' Lounge' started by Deux, Sep 6, 2022.

  1. Deux Corpse Connoisseur

    I'm an avowed lizard supremacist and if anyone doesn't like it you can kiss my tail.

    If you're a raiding guild and need more pipehitters ...you need more Iksar. There's not a single sentient being in any backwater jetty of Norrath who isn't scared poopless when Iksar show up with shiny sharp weapons, not to mention Iksar are clean, sexy as heck and curbstomp everyone.

    Trolls, our distant cousins, are tolerable although they stink in close quarters and you can't trust them not to eat folks you know if they can fit them in their mouth. Most like daddy Cazic so they aren't horrible.

    The only thing I have to say about Ogres, besides being comically stupid, is the fact you constantly see one running around in POK with a small race person stuck between their buttcheeks I never figured out why.

    Erudites are good to have around as they're always thinking, hardly ever talk and that suits Iksar just fine. Really the only good softskin out there if we had to pick one plus they love daddy Cazic (the good ones anyway).

    High elves...other than FV being nice on the eyes they are extremely arrogant which is surprising when their starting strength is like 20 or whatever. They also have a tendency to say annoying things in guildchat and think all good loot should be dictated to them as they are indispensable. Iksar hate high elves.

    Wood elves...if I wanted to build a tree house I'd hire one of them...other than that they are one of the tasier races in Norrath. Always have a token wood elf around in case food supplies run low.

    Half elves...mutts, most are smelly and every one I've met always claims to be human while wearing a cap over their ears....useless!

    Dark elves...like the high elves they are very arrogant not to mention you can't trust them with anything. They hate everyone including themselves and will steal from their mothers if they're short a copper. They do not taste like blueberries and they make every raid harder by arguing with everyone. Avoid unless you want to make someone miserable then have them group with your token Dark Elf.

    Vah Shir ... every one I've met has problems with catnip addiction and showing up to raids glassy eyed and drooling. Hard pass on grouping with them not to mention more than once I've seen a male VS intentionally not use litterboxes requiring guildhalls to be fumigated and sanitized. Their tails are clearly inferior to Iksar btw.

    Barbarians...dumb but hard workers. Can drink with the best of them. Good to have in a fight, great horned helmets. Useless in hot zones however.

    Humans...have nothing to say about them other than they tend to bleed easy. Many have foul breath, are half blind and like weird in any kind of armor.

    Gnomes...most arrogant race in Norrath and every single one thinks they are going to take over and rule the world. Their arrogance is offset by their tastiness.

    Halflings...can't stand them, their furry feet smell like wet gym socks and they're always happy it's very annoying. They make great noises when they hit the ground though!

    Dwarves...hard fighters, good drinkers, make the best ale in Norrath. Never seen a dwarf more than 3 foot tall but they all claim to be at least 5 feet. Some of their women have better beards than the men. Never met a Dwarf that didn't need a bath not sure how Ogres and Trolls can stomach them.

    Drakkin...abominations and they all think they're "special" being related to dragons. Smell like old leather, sound like toothless snakes when they speak and claim to be the best at everything but are of nothing.

    Froglok...second tastiest race, casters are amusing to watch but their melee types are not respected anywhere. Invited to groups and raids mainly in hopes they die for frogleg soup ingredients.
    Flatchy likes this.
  2. Cicelee Augur

    Devs could remove Iksar, Drakkin and Gnome as playable races and the game would be significantly better as a result.
  3. Fenthen aka Rath

    No more T2 raid belts, warrior epics, etc... oh well...
    Deux likes this.
  4. minimind The Village Idiot

    Ogre tired. Ogre sit. Ogre stand. Ogre wedgie.

    Can't explain that.
    Ravanta Suffer and Deux like this.
  5. Cicelee Augur

    Farm tinkering to another race. Wipe hands clean. Problem solved.

    Besides, the loss of T2 raid belts and other stuff are far outweighed by the sheer happiness the game will have when Gnomes are eradicated...
    Yinla and Deux like this.
  6. Deux Corpse Connoisseur

    Teasing gnomes is all fun and games until you wake up one day strapped to a table as an experiment in one of their labs. Every gnome is Dexter it's crazy.
  7. Deux Corpse Connoisseur

    You've never seen an Iksar MT a raid zoneboss with a dinner knife and a fork have you? the flopsweat on boss mobs is impressive to watch. I've also witnessed raid targets literally set their loot on the ground quietly and zone plug when they saw an Iksar MT walk in.
    Hobitses and Herf like this.
  8. Herf Augur

    I pretty much agree with everything in the original post.
    Deux likes this.
  9. Act of Valor The Newest Member

    Eat all Halflings.
    Nennius, Herf, Deux and 1 other person like this.
  10. code-zero Augur

    Meanwhile the High Elves quietly discuss a solution to the Iksar problem....
    Deux likes this.
  11. Arkanny Augur

    Drakkins were a mistake, i can agree to that much.
    Deux and Duder like this.
  12. Act of Valor The Newest Member

    Delete all Drakkin and Halfling from the game, make Iksar 2 and Iksar 3.
    Deux likes this.
  13. Duder Augur

    Drakkin are fit for nothing more than cleaning Flatchy’s toilet with their tongues!
    Stymie, Deux and Flatchy like this.
  14. Flatchy Court Jester

    I grew a strong hatred for haflings I must admit. Growing up in Neriak as a refugee I had to make my way in Nektulos Forest. The rotten Hobbitses would kill me a lot at low levels. Now they are my food!
    Deux is right though them hairy feet smell rotten and taste worse. The way to get around that is eat them like shrimp. hold em by the feets and eat , toss the stanky feet away like shrimp shell!
    Nennius, Stymie, Herf and 2 others like this.
  15. tsiawdroi TittyGOAT

    Make it so only gnome's can cast swarm pets.. lag fixed
    Kaenneth and Deux like this.
  16. Nennius Curmudgeon

    Lizards make good belts and boots. Lizard meat is good in a stew as well. Toss in halfling nuggets and you have the making of a great meal.
    Stymie and Deux like this.
  17. pimp_zilla New Member

    Hey, one of my best friends is an Iskar, and they find me absolutely delightful! I wouldn't steal from my mudder, I lub my mudder ever so much!!! Darker the berry, sweeter the juice! (^_-)!
  18. Herf Augur

    I will merely channel /gucomics and say "Don't make me eat you!"

    [IMG][IMG]
  19. Herf Augur

    This is not the first time, but it is the most poignant time, that I wish I had ready skill in simple cartoons :)
    minimind likes this.
  20. Herf Augur

    I would pay REAL MONEY to be able to have my ogre and troll toons walk around with gnomes and/or dwarves stuck up their buttocks. Might also consider buying a related title to said experience as well. This looks like a job for consumer generated artwork.
    minimind and Deux like this.