Class Choice - The downside to every class from someone who has played them all on the TLP (2 hours)

I'm waiting for the severs and all of this is my opinion and my experience so feel free to read or ignore but don't sit there and argue about it.

Enchanter - The king of OP charm. What can be the downside here? OP buffs, Spells, OP Mes, Charm. They got it all. Well, everything but being able to afk for a piss without getting dead fast. You will make groups so much better... everyone will want you... then you start getting sick of carrying all these twerps. You do 70% of the dps and they act like their efforts are soooo important. The ones that played enc before but decided not to this time cus so many will be playing them this time are the worst. They will be trying to micro manage how you play and what you do until you are ready to train them in the face. Just be a to them and tell them to bug off right from the start. Dont let them dig in like a micro managing tick. Bonus points of your name is Meser or mezr or Mesmer or Mezzer or...

Bard - Ez mode with melody right? Ok... suuuure. Interrupts, stuns, and the 100 things you need to do. You will spend more time nose deep in your macros trying to make one for every possible situation then you will in your wife this week, that is for sure. Charm that does not last long and cost mana... but you get 1 mana per tick da heck thought that would be a good idea. The good news is that while you are busy afk on raids bored out of your mind wondering what you are doing with your life you can spend that time dreaming of the days when your aoe's worked and you could kite... but now if the mob moves no damage. Nerfed hard. Not even worth using in groups. Daydream away ole bard. One plus side is you can loop this epic song while you play a bard and you will feel much better about your choice. The Bard's Song

Warrior - King of raid tanks wana be exp tank chasing agro helplessly. This class blows... until you are geared and then you are a KING! But what good is waiting till you are geared? you... have.. everything.. now. Also all of the Big D players roll Wars. It's some kind of ego thing. They WILL BE MAIN TANK AND ARE THE BEST AND KNOW ALL TACTICS!!! And no really, they do. I think all of them used to be guild leaders of Fires of Heaven or something. Good luck Mr. Casual with them as your peers. You will be out shinned at every turned stuck with third best geared warrior in the guild chasing your agro.

Shadow Knight - You are fat and you can not fit in the zone areas to pull. And you will be pulling because all of the monks are waiting for Iksar. Why could they not just released Kunark with classic??? Why? Then you would have to be sitting here trying to talk the ranger or bard in the group to pull so you can just chill and tank like you wanted to do. Nobody wants to pull. Everyone is lazy. Congrats to they who picked Dark elf... you are not fat but you have to live knowing you picked the lesser of the races. No regen? no stun immunity? WHY DO YOU DO THIS MAN?

Pally - Ahh the Pally... Why does this class exists? To be a shiney hero? So pally loot does not rot? It serves no purpose other than to be unique. Remember, if you do not stand balls to balls with the mob when you cast blind it runs away. YAY! Enjoy your mechanics you special snowflake. Your will only shine in coordination with your lay on hands cooldown.

Cleric - You are the best healer, at a price. You get to do a couple heals and are OOM. What good are them heal bombs when you go not mana. Better than a druid or shaman? Not really, you will be spamming lower level heals just like them. Everyone is wearing crap armor and the best tank you got is a bard. Enjoy the stress medding buddy. Do not time that CH wrong or there goes your exp gain for the next hour recovering from the wipe you caused. Everything is your fault and everyone secretly hates you. RES ME WITH ALL YOUR MANA!!! You will do it for plat? No, the 10 other clerics will do it for free and steal your thunder you greedy sob.

Shaman - Great class... if you like to click over and over and over again eating yourself. Oh wait guys let me get some mana and I'll cast 50 thousand buffs and med some more for heals... yeah sure I can buff, heal, slow, cani, and every thing else you ask of me. Yes, you can have a sow... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Druids - you want to buff and dps? Ok... heal us. But we have a shaman and a cleric... dont care they are OOM. HEAL US!! No dots, no dd. Just heal!! Heal!! You should have rolled a cleric. Port me you box! What? You.. you mained a druid?? HAHAHA! tree hugger.

Necro - Ok you boner. you picked the king solo op class. Wanted in groups and can solo. Now you want that real gear and its raid time... Time to pump that mana to someone more important than yourself. Try not to get bored medding and pumping. You should have been a mage.


Mage - I can has a pet too? no, unsummon pet during the raid. Make me some mod rods. Make me food because that is all you are good for. WHY DIDNT YOU LAND A MALA??!! ITS THE ONLY THING YOU ARE GOOD AT AND YOU CAN NOT LAND IT??? WHY ARE YOU ON THE RAID?? And your epic pet sucks. Fire pet is better. You are just a low dps enchanter who can safely go afk to pee.

Ranger - Congrats. You selected a really fun and good class. Now good luck convincing anyone else of it. Have fun LFG until someone knowledgeable invites your or someone takes pity on you. Once you get your AA's it will all change though. You will be respect! So will all the other rangers that did not play a ranger in classic like you did and rolled Ranger on Velious and Pop. Now you are just one of the many. Nobody cares you mained a ranger when maining ranger was not cool.

Rogue - How do you like being horrible dps when your only job is dps? Do you enjoy knowing you only got an invite to either pull or out of pity? In just 3 or 4 expansions your DPS will grow wildly and you will then be like the other dps classes. Why do you even pick this class???

Monk - Why did you not wait for Iksar you blonde haired eye patched fool? Pull pull pull. Never stop feeding the group. Go go go. Spin up spin down. Your play time will be exhaustive while your lazy group sits on their butts in camp reaping your efforts. Can you pull for a bit? Will be your motto. Get your hotpockets and popsock warmed up puller boy. You suck because you are not an Iksar.

lol love it

please direct all new players here

100% spot on and hilarious

I can't wait to be a special little snowflake!!!

Hahahaha, this is great! I also like how Wizard isn't even mentioned, it's perfect.

What are you rolling first this time?

Wizard, pmsl

Inferior, unreliable dps until luclin. You are nothing more than a port bot. Getting invited to groups in classic-velious is out of pure pity. Enjoy being out dps'd by afk monks

Haha very good, few comments for class i played on prog servers

Pal, it s a surprisingly good tank in group when handled correctly.

Ench, life is tooooooo borring in raid, excellent game play outside of raids tho

Bard, if you really want to learn the class, awsome, it s about all these little things that adds up when you optimize your bard - switch wep in your melody cycle to add a drum song you said while ensuring better DPS with 2 weps for the 3 others ?

Shaman, has always been OP, is still OP and will always be OP, indeed too many things to do. They should allow shaman to cast 2 spells at the same time regarding the amount of things you got to do

Wiz, if played average is not interesting. If you want to really play it, start learning all targets resist tables, learn how to optimize your rotations and land your stuns at the right moment, it s all about timing...

Can you pick out the Ranger? lol

Played all the classes

Funny read!

Hahaha that was great and a too real. Especially the warriors xD

This is my TLP experience every server

You're the kind of player I like making a class lead of a one-man army - if you need help, you recruit and train 'em.

Forgot DA hammer ramp tanking.

This is the greatest post ever made on the EQ forums.

Whoa, the Quon just came back to life! Great sequel =p

http://eqhistory.blogspot.com/2015/02/the-quon-his-unique-worldview-and.html

I have found necro to be very fun, top DPS class when you just ignore all the calls for mana pumps. Oddly enough, the raid has never wiped because I didn't feed my mana to the clerics.