Writing Appreciation

Discussion in 'Joker’s Funhouse (Off Topic)' started by Free2BeMe, Aug 6, 2014.

  1. Free2BeMe Loyal Player

    Hey, guys! I know there are a lot of fellow writers on here, and I just wanted to take the opportunity to dedicate a thread to all of you incredibly talented people! A friend of mine is taking writing classes right now, and since she knows I'm huge on writing and the English language, she sends me some of her stuff every once in a while to get a second opinion.... She sent me this poem a little while ago, and I just loved the language so much, that I wanted to share it with you guys. Mind you, it's very, very personal to her, so there're a lot a melancholic metaphors/undertones to the piece, but she really wanted the feedback, so I told her I'd put it out there for some thoughts/insight.... Please feel free to share your own work!

    Keep me in the dark. Do you even know me?
    Breaking on the inside, patience running thin.
    Needing a listening ear, I scream only for silence to drown me.
    Let me in your heart once more.

    You keep me in the rain and it causes all the pain.
    The sound of you ignoring me blasts like a trumpet.
    You think of me yet you never speak a word to me.
    You leave me hanging on to a thread of hope.

    Easy come easy go as they say, but you were different.
    You are a rare jewel.
    I kept mining the caverns of rejection and hurt to find my jewel.
    It was a fragile fractal but it was beautiful.
    It was like an luminescent opal.
    It shined in the darkness and I got to hold it.
    I threw it away by accident. I regret it so much.

    I still think: is it okay? About how it's being treated?
    I wanted something like that -- something to always keep.
    I don't want to hide you, or stifle you, but show you off.
    You deserve to be seen.

    You were my friend.... and I loved you.
    I still do.
    Come back.
    • Like x 8
  2. The 13ht Doctor New Player

    I have so many pieces (many unfinished, one published). They are longer stories, so I don't think I'll share them here. One story I'm working on is called "Jedrik Hugh." I based the character, in which the title is named after, after myself, but many people think he's too similar to Sherlock Holmes, so I don't know what to do with that.
    • Like x 2
  3. Free2BeMe Loyal Player

    Is he a detective?
  4. The 13ht Doctor New Player

    I was a bit conflicted on that. I was thinking of just making him a really smart person that solves people's issues... like me :D
    • Like x 1
  5. Free2BeMe Loyal Player

    Hmmm, sounds interesting!
  6. nowburn4it Loyal Player

    Seems deeply personal and painful. I think we've all been in situations like this, which makes it feel more personal to everyone. I really liked this. Thanks for sharing.
    • Like x 2
  7. The 13ht Doctor New Player

    Thanks!
    • Like x 1
  8. Free2BeMe Loyal Player

    No problem! :D
  9. Jake New Player

    Very interesting poem. Over the past few years I've been writing pieces building onto Bizarro & Bizarro world. It interests me a lot!

    I also have tried to build a small story onto my dcuo character.
    • Like x 3
  10. FelixDuo Committed Player

    I've tried writing. I'm actually still trying my hand at writing. I'm writing right now! But I can never seem to get past the world and character building stage. I can come up with a world, cool settings within that world, interesting characters (at least I think they're interesting), and the very beginnings of a plot, but once it comes to an actual narrative I get severe writer's block. Not sure why. It's starting to really bug me. :/

    Neat poem though. If I had to guess, I'd say it sounds like it's about a former friend...or maybe boy/girlfriend. Hard to say. Poetry is very very far from my forte.
    • Like x 4
  11. Free2BeMe Loyal Player

    It was a close friend of hers.... And most of my writing takes place in the U.S., so most of my stuff comes to me very, very easily :p I love fantasy, but I just don't know how to write it well.... It's why I stick to fanfiction, where worlds and characters have already been established.
    • Like x 2
  12. Sage-Rapha Steadfast Player

    I like the poem
    • Like x 2
  13. The 13ht Doctor New Player

    It happens with every writer. It's mostly because you have one thing in mind, but things don't develop the way you hoped or expected, so you are unsure of what to do. Whenever this happens to me, I don't put myself in the situation since I know everything about the story. I find someone and ask what they would do in that situation and play off that. If you just have a setting, ask someone what potential conflicts they see happening and get inspiration from that.
    • Like x 4
  14. AkikoTsunami Committed Player

    due to subject matter and strong language , I don't have much I could share here....

    maybe a quick Haiku

    Drinking vodka from
    old brown patent leather shoes
    in the morning sun
    • Like x 1
  15. Sage-Rapha Steadfast Player

    Aww akiko lol.

    Im gonna post one that I have.
  16. Sage-Rapha Steadfast Player

    Redemption of the Heart

    The past is never past, or so I thought, both in mind and heart.
    What is done is done, or so I thought, in my mind and in my heart.
    Yet I find the same grace that makes it seem so far away.

    I thought my past tried to haunt me, both in my mind and in my heart.
    But that same grace washed over me again and again.
    Never once could I imagine myself completely free from the past.
    Fighting demons that were bound and no longer had power, I found myself becoming vile, bitter, and dour.

    Though within what I thought was the final hour, was that same grace that ushered in peace.
    Dont get me wrong for that peace and grace was not within me, but i found it repeatedly.
    The mask that was worn for so long, that same nice mask, shattered.
    The real heart was revealed. All the wounds and scars and hurts were now visible.

    Redemption was what I wanted, or so I thought I needed it.
    I prayed, fasted and meditated yet found none of it. I wondered what happened to the same grace I found before.
    It seemingly disappeared, though I thought both in my mind and in my heart.
    What I found instead was my heart completely destroyed.

    They say God loves and tis quite true and while he does in fact heal and make whole, He also renews.
    I asked why not just heal my old heart..He said because that is an old heart, and doesn't want to be made new.
    I was shocked at His answer. He told me, your heart was not pure, and it made you a facade. But the one I give you is new.
    He made no mistake. He taught me redemption and grace.

    What I thought was an illusion and I put faith in it not seeing that I was focused on the wrong thing.
    That grace that was found was always there, just waiting for someone to claim it as Heir.
    People think Redemption is a process but it isn't. Its a matter of the heart.
    Never deny yourself or anyone Redemption of the Heart



    I know... its bad but... dont go too hard on me lol.

    Enjoy your day everyone :D
    • Like x 4
  17. Scotty Well-Known Player

    I too am trying my hand at writing; I finished a manuscript in 2006 and just recently took it off the backburner and have started to get it polished up. So far the editors who worked on it have said they think I have something here and have encouraged me to continue to work with them. I too suffer from "writer's block;" it's frustrating. Just don't give up and keep working at it:)

    Nice poems above too:)
    • Like x 3
  18. The 13ht Doctor New Player

    Everyone thinks their poems are horrible, but, like yours, they are very good. I learned this back in middle school a long time ago. We were supposed to create a book with poems on it and include pictures (which were half the grade). I just wrote poems and suck them together without pictures and got the full points just because my teacher loved my poems. This is exactly your case.
    • Like x 3
  19. Sage-Rapha Steadfast Player

    Aww you're too kind lol.
    I would love to see your work one day
    • Like x 2
  20. Mrik Tros New Player

    I wrote many poems when I was- unhappily - single. Not many of them survive to this day.
    When I met the Angel that became my wife, I realized I didn't need them anymore.
    I still write, but now, I get to stand in the sun.
    Your friend's work is wonderful:)
    • Like x 5