Strongest DC Character

Discussion in 'Joker’s Funhouse (Off Topic)' started by NoobThenPro, Apr 21, 2013.

  1. FuzZzy Lumpkins New Player

    • Like x 1
  2. Lucaefor New Player

    Bah! That's just your prediliction for bad boys talking.
  3. CarlynnCarnage 10000 Post Club

    Ha! Well that's true too. The bad boys are much more fun! :D
    • Like x 1
  4. Battle Man Committed Player

    Lobo is the strongest.

    He'll ******* kill you.
  5. melvinpox Devoted Player

    Ah...but there is one who is perfect.
    • Like x 2
  6. Lucaefor New Player

    You old smoothie! Hats off to you my dear chap.
    • Like x 1
  7. CarlynnCarnage 10000 Post Club

    Yeah, Superman is a perfect jerk...

    [IMG]

    But back on topic, I still hope he would get his butt kicked by someone.
    • Like x 1
  8. melvinpox Devoted Player

    Um...wasn't talkin bout me. I am Mr. Very Imperfect.
  9. Lucaefor New Player

    Indeed, you were talking about Carlynn. As chat up lines go it was pretty smooth hence the compliment ;)
    • Like x 1
  10. CarlynnCarnage 10000 Post Club

    LOL! I wasn't saying you were talking about yourself silly man. I just wanted to poke at Superman again lol
    • Like x 1
  11. melvinpox Devoted Player

    Um...wrong again. You give me way too much credit.
    • Like x 1
  12. melvinpox Devoted Player

    I know. I was replying to the other guy. I'm not good at this chatting thing. Can't seem to get the hang of it. I'm just getting confused and now I'm confusing other people.
  13. CheckmateEnjoi New Player

    So when Amazo absorbs Lobo's strength, Superman Prime 1 million's powers, Black Adam's SHAZAM, and Flash's speed ... then who wins? /end thread
  14. monksoy New Player

    am i the only one who recalls batmans fallback plan to take out like every super in the justice league it was like the main reason he was voted out
  15. CarlynnCarnage 10000 Post Club

    No you aren't the only one. The thing is, the thread is about the strongest, not the craftiest.
    • Like x 1
  16. LL New Player

    Tower of Babel. Loved that story line.
  17. Mr.Me New Player

    Ummm the Flash OFC... Duh!

    Now, I don't know how many of you dogs of the scurviest sea read comics, but I do a big pile of comics. One thing that blows my mind is how completely insane the powers in the DC universe are. Look at Superman. This guy has more powers than French restaurants have ways to say "your taste in wine is atrocious". He has powers to do with every part of his body and then some. He forgets powers sometimes. He can shoot heat rays out of his eyes, frost breath from his mouth and red sun radiation from his ***. He's that sort of crazy dude. All because he absorbs solar radiation.

    Look at Batman. His power? The anti-power. Sure, he should be some tame, kung fun master of not much, but instead he's the hottest **** to ever **** on a plate. You got a power? He'll find your weakness and give you seizures or heart attacks. He'll light you on fire when you're sleeping or make you recharge your green lantern ring in the power outlet. Ten thousand volts of **** you. That's Batman.

    But the ******* Flash, my god, my ******* GOD, this man has the greatest powers of all. If Superman's powers are being sucked off by twin super models and batman coming home to discover your wife is not only bisexual but has two friends she wants you to 'get in on' then the Flash is an orgy with a thousand women who also want to pay your World of Warcraft billing. And click the mouse for you. This man is just that ******* hot. They have to power him down in the comics half the time just to keep him from doing everyone else's job.

    Ok first off, he can travel at lightspeed. Mother ****! Not only does he travel at lightspeed, but time slows down for him. So he feels like he's having a casual jog or reading the paper, meanwhile, his feet are moving so fast you can hear him coming from Montana while he's already gotten to Arizona. That's ******* fast. But wait! The ability to move at Lightspeed just isn't ******* enough!

    I know! Christ this guy can punch you so many times in a second you've been hit five times in the **** and two times everywhere else. You think you're about to fight the Flash and then it hits you, for the last split second he's beaned your beanbags with more blows than you had sperm. But no, there's more!

    The Flash can also vibrate through walls. Now last I heard, you can not move so fast you can vibrate through walls, so what actually happens is the Flash is so fast he can pick and choose the movement of his individual molecules and move them through other solid objects, phasing through solid matter like it ain't no thing. I mean you think a guy who runs at lightspeed would run into **** but no, the Flash just goes right through them. To top that with a cherry and some whipped cream (which the Flash made in like a millisecond, ****er) he can selectively choose to cause objects to be "okay" afterwards or ******* EXPLODE. That's right. He can run through you and make you blow up by transfering kinetic energy into you. Like Jesus. IT's bad enough you can't hit this guy, but he doesn't even have to punch you. Now your testicles have exploded and you're thinking you're about to hit him. Jesus? Just give it up. He's the ******* Flash.

    Now imagine that somehow there's someone who can get around the Flash blowing your balls up secret ninja technique. Ok. He can also control the flow of energy between objects. This power makes no sense but basically he can throw a rock at you, and you think it's going slow and then he's like WHOOHOOO WIZARDLY FLASH POWERS and bam it's going at lightspeed. So he can throw seven million rocks at you in a second then make them all goes different speeds thus striking your **** with seven million rocks one after the other.

    But wait! There's more! He can also take energy from the very power of speed and make clothes out of it. Yes. Flash makes his pants out of GOES FAST. The man is so fast he can make Flash pants that GOES FAST go right into. I don't even start to understand the physics of that but basically SPEED == REALLY TIGHT UNDERWEAR AND COOL LIGHTNING THINGIES OVER THE EAR. You would think this is the end of it but ok let's say Flash is fighting Superman and **** he's going to lose and **** how is Superman THIS ******* strong? I don't know he must be Superman fused with Batman into some sort of guy with tons of plans on how to punch you far harder than anyone else ok to end it off the Flash can GO BACK OR FORWARD IN TIME ON COMMAND.

    How do you beat this dude? You're thinking you're hashing him good, laying down the beatdown, missing your balls and suddenly BAM YOUR MOM FELL DOWN THE STAIRS TWENTY YEARS AGO and there's a dent in your forehead and Superman not thunk so gud no more. Actually she didn't fall down the stairs the Flash put speed into them so they fell up her! **** you Flash! You moved the stairs to Soviet ******* russia! RUSH-A! *****.

    Oh, and lastly his greatest power is he isn't fast in bed. He takes it slow and gets all the ladies with his superpowers then actually satisfies them in the sack. Who the Hell is this guy? You'd think he could AT LEAST be a premature ejaculator since his ***** is moving at lightspeed but NOOOO he's even good in bed.

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Wolverine sucks **** and should go die in a freak greasefire.

    Quoted From "MMAssPanic" http://forums.sherdog.com/forums/f48/batman-vs-spiderman-660994/index4.html
  18. Thunderbolt Dedicated Player

    ^^^This^^^
    And I loled at work readin this. But it's so true.
  19. Baltizare New Player

    Lord Chaos would so own phantom stranger and he would tear batman to limbs
  20. Fourth New Player

    I'm the strongest DC character.