Kids: Daddy, look! I found a pine cone! R: Mmm-hmm. Sshhh. Daddy's trying to tank now kids. Show the pine cone to mommy. Later... Kids: Daddy, daddy! There's a leech stuck to Jason's arm!" R: That's nice... tell Mommy to... darn it!!! Where did that stupid one-shot come...!!! Um, princess... can you pass Daddy an ice-cold beer please, OK? Princess: OK. Which one? This one? R: Sure, whatever. Yeah... dang it all .... what the heck is going on?!! Princess: (pops open beer, takes a few swigs) Here, Daddy. R: Thanks, baby girl. Hey, you opened it for Daddy. That's great. Now go play go fish with Mommy, OK? Later: Kids: Daddy, look! Jason hooked his lip with a fishing rod! R: Mmm-hmm. That's cool. Show it to Mommy. Kids: I can't... Jason fell in the water and the fishing rod got stuck to a tree... R: Oh, that's interesting. We should show it to Mommy... Excuse me, what did you just type?! This idiot can't even pick up a barrel and he's whining about... Kids: Oh, never mind Daddy, Jason doesn't have the fishing hook in his mouth anymore. He's crying though. R: That's nice princess, look, be a good girl and fix Daddy a sandwich with some cheese puffs, OK? Kids: Uh-oh, Daddy. Mommy's coming and she looks mad... (eyes perk up) R: What? Mommy's coming? (slams laptop shut) Mommy: Tell me what in the royal heck you think you are doing in this camper while your family is ON VACATION and YOUR SON is BLEEDING OUT like a piece of SALMON?!!!! R: Nothing, honey. I was just checking an email from some clients in Taiwan that my boss told me has to be finished before Monday. But I'm done now. Mommy: What's the controller for? R: Umm... It's uh, faster... to type. Using the controller... and uh, my beer spilled on the keyboard... so... Mommy: You spilled beer on the darn keyboard?!!! R: What?! Um, no, I didn't mean that... I meant... Mommy: Do you have any idea how expensive that beer is? What are you doing drinking it anyway? Didn't I tell you before we left that the beer was for the children?! R: Sorry, baby. You're right. Mommy: That's right I'm right! Wait a minute... you better not have been playing DCUO again!!! R: But it's double XP artifact weekend!!! Mommy: I told you to keep your hands off of my DCUO account!!! You always mess up my skill point distribution and fortify the wrong artifacts!!! R: But the Amulet of Rao is cool... Mommy: I don't care if it's cool or not! Chill said Rao is trash and that Scrap of the Soul Cloak is the meta!!! Get your hands off my stuff! Meanwhile... Far away, in a chalet near Montenegro, Obsidian Chill sits sipping aromatic espresso and stroking a blue Abyssinian feline. Chill: (evil laugh) Yes... that's right... another marriage dashed to pieces thanks to my YouTube channel. Today the forums, tomorrow the WORLD!!! Editor's note: Sorry it got weird at the end, I couldn't resist.