I never really wrote down the backstory for my main character Cpt Charles so I finished a starting point just now. I don't know if I will finish but at the very least it got me thinking more about the character. I have the story stored in a Google Doc for easy editing and updating. If you have any idea, suggestions or improvement feel free to post them. As an example I know for sure the Introduction section can be worded much better. I put in stub sections to help outline how I was going to tell it. Also you will may notice some incompleteness and confusion due to sections not being complete. Link below if interested in reading. Backstory of Captain Charles Gréine
Nice start. I get a Lantern Corp. feel from reading this. Nice spin with the nature powers and the creating the three subdivisions, I thought that was a nice touch. I get the sense that Charles is a bit all over the place trying to find where he fits in or at least trying to find a way to make himself fit in where he wants to be. I am no professional writer or anything, but in reading what you have thus far, some of the things that I would have like to know more about or things that stuck out to me are: - Discuss/Describe the the three powers a little bit more, maybe discuss a significant figure in each of the respective branches, someone with some historical significance - What is getting in the way of Charles' efforts to progress in each other areas that he is seeking knowledge/training in? Maybe offer some clue as to what the barrier might be? - Why does Charles want to fight so bad? What is his motivation? - Scenery. I would take time to describe a little bit about what this place you call New Falias is. - Describe Charles. I see that he is seeking knowledge/training to gain admittance to the militia, but who is the guy? What does he look like? Again, these are just things that stuck out to me or questions I had after reading. I think it is a nice start and interesting spin on the Nature powers. Hopefully more is to come.
Thank you for the suggestions. Yeah it is a bit confusing right now I'd agree and your suggestions would definitely help with that. I was actually going to get to the history of New Falias in the later sections under The Old Realm Secret and Rebirth of New Falias. Falias was one of the ancient/mythical cities (in real life) from the Tuatha Dé Danann which were an ancient/mythical Irish/Welsh race before the Milesians reigned. The Dananns were said to have lost to Milesians and I was eventually going to explain how some of them had retreated from the Old Realm to the New Realm and that the Old Realm was essentially Earth-One and the New Realm was Earth-DCUO. So New Falias would be the remade/reborn city that was destroyed on Earth-One/Old Realm. The three noble clans would be descendants of the three high kings: Mac Gréine (sun god/Chlorokinesis), Mac Cuill (vegetation/Toxikinesis) and Mac Cecht (plow, farming/Runic Weaponry, Nature Energy). A loose resemblance indeed but it worked out well to create three clans. Then of course the different kinds of Druids were based around the different types of Mages that you could see in Final Fantasy games: Black Mage - destructive magic, White Mage - healing/divine magic, Green Mage - supportive magic, Red Mage - paladin-like magic (weaponry + magic) and Blue Mage - copy magic which I redefined as transformative magic. I had to improvise for the Purple Druids and Yellow Druids though since those colours aren't well defined in the Final Fantasy games or named something else entirely. I guess I was focused more on the lore of Charles' world which is why his story has fallen through so far. But the above should give you some idea about the literature/legends I drew from and I will definitely be writing it formally into the backstory. Thanks again!
